I am sitting down for the first time today....well unless you want to count the hours I logged in the car today... and I feel the need to write down all the craziness going through my mind.
2011 has been quite crazy for us already. Jan ~ Rick commits to a run (ok we can do this) @ Disney World (ok that is expensive but we will work it out, tax $ maybe??) Then here comes February and within days of receiving our income tax return we found out we had septic issues. Septic "issues" turns into new field lines and let's just say we weren't expecting that. We are incredibly grateful that God provided the money between income tax and a bonus from Rick's work we were able to pay for everything. Had it been any other time of yr we would have had no idea how we would have paid for it. BUT that leaves us wondering how do we pay for Disney and realizing buying a car this yr most likely won't happen. Oh, yeah did I not mention that?? Yes, we are a one car family I drive them all in the morning, then I go pick them up again in the afternoon. I have argued with God about this so often I can count it anymore. And again I say God is good. He has blessed us with one good car that can handle all the driving we do.
Training for Run for God has brought on aches and pains we sorta expected but kinda hope you don't get...Rick is having calf pain, Megan knee pain, and me...yeah well I never go the easy route - foot pain, I will explain in a minute. Last week was my birthday. I turned 35...gggrrrr. It has been quite yucky if I am being honest. Two days before my bday we are in the mall shopping for Easter clothes and Erika (who walk directly in front of me..ALWAYS) decided to stop walking ON MY FOOT. I DID NOT stop walking. Hence a tumble to the floor in the middle of the mall and I try to catch all of me (it isn't little!) on one hand/arm. Yup, you already know that doesn't work, sprained wrist and elbow. I decided though that it isn't broke so I will just trust God to heal, 'cuz I really can't afford 2 Dr. visits and my priority is my foot. That brings us up to this past Saturday the day before Easter....It is a yard work day. We (everyone but Erika) got into some poison ivy and I got some strange insect bite. Megan and Rick have swollen eyes and my arms and legs look like I have leprosy but we are a good Baptist family...... We suck it up and go to church. (I was just vain enough to stick my aching foot in some "cute" shoes, forget the pain!) By this morning Rick and Megan are miserable, swollen, and itchy. I head to the foot Dr. She gives me the news I was dreading..I'm gonna need a cortizon shot in my heel for plantar fasciitis and I have 3 warts she will shave and medicate (eeewww gross, I have never had a wart I was completely grossed out) and send me home with some crazy looking sock I should sleep in and some exercises I should do everyday and no running tomorrow (big sigh...can you hear my relief eeerr I mean dismay) Leave there, pick Rick take him to Urgent Care for a shot and a script, then pick up Megan for a shot and a script......
Finally driving home I am thinking of all this stuff and some personal things happening in our lives that I won't mention here (things that seem to be rocking our world) and I am thinking (screaming) @ God "WHO IS THE JONAH HERE??? What are we not doing that we should be doing?" Honestly, I felt like God laughed at me! It was like He was saying "Chill out girl, some of this is just life" I do think God is refining our family lately maybe even testing our faith, stretching us to see if we will crumble or press on. Today I have felt like crumbling a bit. In these tough times I always think of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendigo when they are about to be thrown in the fiery furnace and they tell the King 'The God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king, BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT...." I have always been afraid of the "But if He doesn't" what if He chooses NOT to remove this trial??? That makes me think of what Rick says over and over in Run for God "God gets all the glory for this" He is referring to the 5k yes, but also life. I want to come out of this (and each trial we face) and say God gets all the glory. I can't walk this road by myself if you know me much at all you know without my Jesus (and sometimes with) I am nut case. I NEED Him everyday, and I WANT Him to be pleased with how I respond to each trial, each testing, each stretching of my faith, and even just this crazy life and the normalcy of our craziness.
Before I sat down to whine I mean tell you about our journey right now I did what I do a lot these days. I sat down with my Bible and my list of verses that grows longer each year. The verses I can turn to when I know I need a promise from God, our maybe even a spanking, or a reality check. This afternoon I am hanging onto Ps. 61:5-8 5. Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. 6. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 7. My salvation and my honor depend on God; 8. Trust in him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah.
That's it, that's my insane thoughts for today. I gotta go soak myself in caladryl before I scratch my skin off.
