A Call to Arms

Nearly 18 years ago I stood in my parents' kitchen as my dad held my newborn.  He asked me "How do you feel about raising a child in this world we live in?"

 It was something I had thought about all through my pregnancy. I answered "I'm scared.  I can't imagine a world that is crazier than it is now even though I know it will only get worse.  Some days I want Jesus to come back while she is still little so she won't experience all the horrible things in the world.  However, another part of me can't wait to see who she grows up to be and all that she will accomplish."

When I had a second child 5 years later the concern for their future, for the condition of the society we would leave them, had only grown. I have thought about that conversation many times over the last 17+ years; as we have indeed watched this world get crazier and crazier.

Earlier this week that little girl my dad held so long ago asked me, "Mom, do you think God would send me to Iraq?"  I waited for my heart to lurch, for the fear to creep in, but it didn't.  We had a conversation into the night about trusting the Lord's leadership, His plans, His will, His timing and more.

I think what if God called her to stay in the United States. What is it going to look like here in a few years?    I wonder what the life of a true Christian in the U.S. will be like in the coming years. I am confident there isn't a "safe" place anymore BUT, there is an almighty, all powerful God.

This morning I sit in my room and contemplate all that is going on in this world.  I especially think about all that is going on in my country.  I think about the hate, the lawlessness, the corruptness, the evil.  The lost.  The lost people acting like lost people.  I think about the growing persecution of Christians. I think about Christian brothers/sisters attacking each other instead of spreading the Gospel.

I am sure of very little these days.  A few things I am sure of:

• God hasn't stepped off His throne
• He IS good and in control
• Jesus is the ONLY answer for the turmoil this world is in
• He loves people
• His heart breaks for the condition of this world
• He doesn't want ANY person to perish without Him 
• He has called that girl of mine to tell people about Him and where He sends her He will go before her and with her.
• He wants Christians to get over themselves and get about the business of the Father

My heart is sad this morning. What I am asking myself is, "Am I sad because my comfort has been challenged or because there are lost dying and going to hell?" and "What am I going to do about it?"

I ask you the same questions.  Will politics, or gun control, or the state of society, or theology cause us to fight each other, or will it urge us to put on the armor of God and enter a Spiritual battle?

Dear 30 year old Me

Dear 30 yr old Me,

You have a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old.  You are working.  A LOT.  It all seems so overwhelming and you are longing for the day when it gets easier.

Each day you are just trying to get through and ending with guilt that says you didn't do enough.

You are looking forward to the days when the kids are older.  Old enough to take care of things for themselves.  Old enough to help you with more around the house.  Old enough to .......

You are also stressing that you aren't spending enough time with them now. You are so tired and they are getting the short end of the stick.

10 years from now you are going to be staring at them realizing they are old enough for all those things you were wishing for 10 years ago.  Now you have one that is about to be a Senior in H.S. and one about to go into 7th grade.  A Senior.  Oh dear Jesus, how did we get here so fast?!?!

So self, slow down!  Realize that all the stressers of the day are temporary.  The little things are just that, little things.  Soak it up.  And when you have a bad day, don't beat yourself up.  They are gonna happen and life is going to keep moving.  FAST.

You have beautiful girls.  They are funny, smart, talented, gifted, loving girls.  Enjoy every aspect of them.  They are also strong-willed and that is NOT bad.  Guide that, teach them how to channel that into something to use for God.

Pray for them, over them, and with them. Because the world is against them and Satan is going to attack them.

Right now it seems impossible to realize that one day they will be grown and you WILL indeed miss this phase, but I promise at 40 you will begin to see that one day (way too soon) they will be aching to spread their own wings and be grown. You will want to go back and soak up every single second.

If I could tell you anything it would be that you are enough.  You are enough for them even on your bad days because you are the mom ordained for them to have. Hug them, read to them, watch that movie with them, dance in the car with them, be silly with them, laugh with them, and when you mess up apologize to them and keep moving.  Teach them every day about Jesus, teach them to KNOW who they are in Christ, teach them to serve God and others. Teach them that they are enough too; they are enough to do whatever God has planned for them to do.

The next 10 years are going to be a roller coaster.  Some days you are just going to want to get off.  But don't quit momma.  Hang in there.  It is worth the ride.