Too Much Information

Ah, the information age.  Sometimes I think it isn't all is cracked up to be. I will admit I can do internet research like nobody's business and I am pretty addicted to social media, but some days I think it isn't so much a blessing as a curse.

We can diagnose ourselves thanks to WebMd and pretty much always learn no matter what your ailment you are most likely dying.  We can look up any recipe we might ever want and if Google can't find it Pinterest will have 478 variations of it along with beautiful pictures my food will never measure up to. We can find ideas to throw the biggest, best party ever. We can find a review for any product we want to buy, at least you will be able to read the negative reviews; positive comments are harder to come by.  We can see what Urbanspoon says about a restaurant  we want to try and find out if it is worth our time.  There is marriage advice, parenting advice, friend advice, church advice, movie reviews.............
OH MY GOODNESS!

We have made it even easier to be ungrateful for where we are at or what we have by comparing ourselves to others based on the blips of info people put out on Facebook and Twitter.  We spend hours on Pinterest wishing and dreaming for the house, the wardrobe, the body, the cooking abilities, the party planning ability and budget.  I do say we because I am so very guilty.

What has gotten me thinking today, though, is all the advice blogs/articles/info out there.

Have you talked to your child about drugs, sex, porn, etc..  Have you blessed your husband, are you submitting, is he your #1 priority, 101 date ideas, etc..  Does your church do community work, do you have the right kind of music, does your church get involved with missions, etc.. Are you taking care of you, having a quiet time, organizing your home, preparing your meals, dressing well, etc.  Are you affirming your children, disciplining your children, giving your children boundaries, setting electronic time, getting them active, getting them in extracurricular stuff, don't put them in extracurricular stuff etc.  Do you eat organic, natural, palleo, Mcdonalds; do you vaccinate or not vaccinate.....and all the how's and why's you should AND should not being doing for all these things.

If you have posted and/or written a blog on any or all of these topics I am not judging or criticizing!  I think there is a ton of helpful advice out there.  However, for me, someone who is a worry wart it is TMI!
Forget it, worry wart is too gentle; for someone who has struggled with deep anxiety and who still struggles at times all this info can lead to worry and anxiety.  Did I hug my kids enough today?  When will I find time to have all these different talks with them?  What horrible things will happen to them if I DON'T have all these talks with them.  Does my husband know I love and appreciate him.  Am I doing enough at church?  Am I doing too much at church?  What is my motivation behind what I do at church?

All of a sudden I am not just comparing myself with others I am over-analyzing all I need to do with all that I am/am not doing.  Que the guilt and anxiety.

I know what you are thinking.  "No one is making you read those blogs, search for those articles, look at those recipes, peruse (for hours) Pinterest."  I say, "You are so right!!"  I am going to be much more selective about what I am reading, limiting how much "help" stuff I read in a day or even a week (or at all).  I am going to continue to have conversations with my kids and try to stay up on the social media stuff that they are into (which is little to none).  I am going to continue to pray over them, with them and for them.  I am going to talk to my husband about what our relationship needs.  I am going to continue to pray over, with and for him.   I am going to look to God and His word for where I should or should not be involved in our church and our community.  THEN, I am going to learn (from Him) to trust Him more.  To trust Him for the outcome, to trust Him to walk us through when the outcome isn't what we expected or wanted, to trust Him to guide us in our relationships.

I am going to do these things BEFORE I get info from the internet, regardless of how good the information  may be. I am just trying to put a filter on all the "stuff".  We   I can spend so much time reading about all the stuff I need to do or not do that I get overwhelmed and can get stuck in the pattern of "I'm not doing anything right."  Let's get real...most of these articles contradict each other at some point. The truth is I will never measure up to all that other's think I should be/say/do. Do I even want to? Do I even care what others think about how I measure up?  More than I should, less than I used to.

Oh, this information age.  Too much, too much.

Four More Years

Every year I look forward to summer break.  Things slow down, we get to sleep in, we spend days at the pool, we spend days in our p.j.s watching movies, we go to the library and then spend several days just reading and it is good.  Then, it always seems like we wake up one morning and realize school is right around the corner and we haven't done half of the things we wanted to do that summer break.

Every year I say "It seems like summer break just flew by.  It goes by faster and faster every year."  This year was no exception.  It seemed like we did not really even get a break.  Things did not slow down. We spent only a few days at the pool (thanks to all the rain).  We have been to the library once.  We HAVE been going like crazy, but it has been service related for the most part and it has been good. I do feel, though, that this summer break has gone faster than all the others

A few weeks ago Megan and I were alone in the car for whatever reason and it dawned on me while I was driving that she will be 15 in 3 months.  FIFTEEN!  I asked her if she would be wanting to get her driving permit when she turned 15  which she answered with a resounding YES!  So we talked about what she needed to start doing now to be ready for the test.  Then, when we were almost home I said quietly "I can't believe we are having this conversation."  She just smiled.

Since then I have thought more and more about the fact that my first born, my baby, will be starting High School in 2 weeks.  Time.  It won't stop, it won't slow down. It feels like we just brought her home from the hospital wondering what in the world we were supposed to do now.

Assuming she goes away to college like she has talked about for awhile now, we have 4 more years.  4 more years.  IT ISN'T ENOUGH.
Ever since she started Youth activities she has been busier.  This year we are throwing marching band into the mix and I can tell we just entered a new kind of crazy busy...our new normal.  A new phase of life for our family.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining.  Quite the contrary, I am amazed at all she does.  I am loving watching her blossom and grow into the woman God is molding her to be.  I would be lying, though, if I didn't admit I wish we could slow it down.

From that conversation about driving a few weeks ago until now my mind has been all over the place.  My mommy heart was a little sad that we are here staring down High School.  My mind was stuck on the 4 more years and how little time that is.  I'm working on bringing my thoughts back full circle though.  Instead of thinking I only have 4 more years; I'm working on thinking I still have 4 more years.

Society has taught us to dread the teen years.  I will be honest I know who I was in my teen years..yikes!  I will be honest, too, and say that for years I was dreading the teen years.  However, now that we are here I don't know why we are ingrained to dread this time.  It has it challenges but so did every other phase of life.  Hanging out with her (as well as other teens at our church) is a lot of FUN! This time doesn't have to be terrible, in fact, it shouldn't be terrible.

I have no idea what is in store in the next 4 years.  I DO know this ~ I can hang on tight -too tight - and squeeze my eyes shut and just wait for the ride to be over.  ~ OR  ~  I can throw my hands in the air, let the wind blow through my hair, laugh loud and often, and enjoy the ride with my girl.

It will get crazy, that ride.  I'm sure of it.  Upside down, loop to loops, crazy turns, up hill and down. I'm not really a roller coaster kinda girl, but for my Megan, yup I will ride that ride.

I STILL have 4 more years.

Mexican Night

So a few have asked for the recipes to the Mexican Pizza, Taco Seasoning, and Re-fried Beans. So here we go....

I got the Mexican Pizza recipe here.  Where it calls for 1/2 lb. of beef I used a full pound; it makes 2 pizzas with a 1/2 lb and I needed 4.  In step 2.  where it calls to add the onion, and spices I skipped that part and after I drained and rinsed my meat I added homemade taco seasoning instead.  We use this one.  I have tried several different taco seasoning recipes and this one is our favorite by far.

For the re-fried beans.... I cook them first in my pressure cooker.  I almost never remember to pre-soak them  so this is the way to go.  1/2 lb of beans, 4 cups of  natural chicken stock (homemade if I have it), 2 bay leaves, half of a yellow onion sliced, 3 whole cloves of garlic, a dash of cumin, dash of salt, dash of paprika, dash of chili powder, and 4 tsp of olive oil (this keeps it from foaming).  35 minutes in the pressure cooker.  If you don't have a pressure cooker there are usually directions on the bag of pinto beans on how to cook them.  You would need to pre-soak them over night or follow the fast soak recipe on the bag and then cook them for about 2 hrs with the ingredients listed above.

After the pressure releases from the pressure cooker I use this recipe (for the most part) to finish them off.  I use a little of the broth and milk to cook them in the pot (after I have sauted the onion and garlic).  I cut back to 1 tsp of cumin.  Rick likes the cumin I don't so you add or subtract however you like it. Also, her recipe is using a full lb of beans and I only do half so I cut this recipe in half (duh, I know).

After I have made my meat and beans the way we like them instead of the way the Mexican Pizza recipe calls for I follow the rest of that recipe the way it is written.  I tweeked each persons toppings to their flavor preferences some got tomato and green onion, some just onion and one person no veggies on top.

I served the remaining re-fried beans as a side ( I added a little cheese and organic salsa to it) along with Salsa and Food Should Taste Good Natural Multi-Grain Chips.  If I had planned ahead better I might have served this.  It is the only way I have gotten my family to eat cauliflower and it works well with Mexican food. We were more than stuffed after our Mexican pizzas though so I don't feel like anything was missing.

It sounds like a lot of steps, but it really was pretty easy.  You may need to plan ahead a little.  It took me less than an hour start to finish.  That includes the cooking time on the beans which I was able to start and go do other things during the cooking time.  I wasn't standing over the stove for an hour.

Hope you guys enjoy!!

Pause The Busy-ness

There have been several different blog posts floating around in my brain this week, but there just hasn't been time to write them.  Maybe that has been for good reason.  I have been thinking through it all this morning and decided to just sit and type and see what happens.

This week is Spring Break.  Usually that would mean a lot of sleeping in, staying up late, reading, outdoor fun, basically whatever we wanted to do.  This year, however, Megan went on a Mission trip, I am hosting Easter at our home, a death in our church family of a dear sweet lady, my regular household chores, and basically a legal pad two columns full of my 'to-do" list for this week. Needless to say my mind and heart haven't really been focused a whole lot on Holy week, but  more on all that I needed to get done.

The start of the week began with a death in our church family that left everyone reeling.  From diagnosis to death it all happened so quick.  She and her husband were/are pillars of faith in our church and instrumental in our visiting multiple times and eventually joining Ooltewah Baptist Church.  I sang with her in the choir, worked along side of her in Awana, and only knew her for 7 short months.  I wish it had been longer.  On Palm Sunday our church processed that news and Easter felt different this year.  Death is NOT final for Mrs. Elaine.  Death is NOT final for me.  Sin and death have been defeated.  Our  service was bitter sweet.  The message so good; I love when God takes something I have heard all my life and teaches me something new from it.

I left church Sunday morning ready to face the week in a state of worship all week.  I let life get in the way this week though.  There is SO much going on right now, most of it good things and more than this blog can hold, but they have kept me so busy I have not had my focus on having a heart of worship.


My "to do" list is almost completely marked off (Oh, my OCD crazy LOVES that!) and I will most likely get it all done before the family arrives Sunday afternoon.  This morning, however, when  someone on Facebook said "It's Friday but Sundays a comin;".  I HAD to stop.  Stop being busy.  Stop worrying about how I will get it all done. Stop and meditate on what happened on Good Friday. Stop and acknowledge that it was MY sin that held Him there.  Stop and reflect on the price that HAD to be paid and He willing paid it for ME. Stop and be thankful. Stop and praise Him that He is not dead, He is ALIVE!  My sin is forgiven, my debt has been paid, and death is not final!

Be Still

A little less than a year ago there was a whole lot going on in our family.  Not that there isn't a lot going on now, but last year it was a different kind of "a lot".  Most of it very few people knew about.  Our family, Rick and I specifically, were in the midst of spiritual warfare that was tougher than any we had been through in our marriage. Our marriage has seen it's share of issues just like any other, but that wasn't what was happening.  In fact, through it all last year, our marriage has come out stronger than ever.  The battle was strong and the oppression seemed stronger.

I remember sometime last spring telling Rick that I felt like I was constantly fighting.  Fighting the kids, fighting with him, fighting against Satan.  I told him I felt like the warfare was too much and I was war weary.  He spoke wisdom to me that day (have I ever told you how much I love that man??) and it was exactly what I needed.  He said "I understand what you are saying, but God doesn't ask you to always fight.  Sometimes He wants you to be still and let Him fight for you."  I can be a bit of an arguer and I like to have the last word.  I tried to come back with something, but I had nothing I had to let that sink in and let his words of wisdom wash over me.

There are times I KNOW I am called into battle.  I have told you about that  before.  I had not considered up to that point that God not only doesn't  need me to fight, he doesn't always want me to fight.  I have spent a lot of time in this past year learning the difference between the two.  I have spent time looking for places in God's word where He tells me He is my mighty warrior; learning the songs that give praise to the Lord our Mighty Warrior.  I have learned to lean in hard to Him and to ask Him to fight for me and to help me to be still and to know when it is my time to enter the battle.

In this past year we have made some very hard decisions for our family. We have walked away from what was familiar for the last 15 years.  In this last 6 months God has shown us in so many ways that the fight was not only necessary it was for our good.  The ways He has proved Himself to be trustworthy, loving, faithful, and good are more than I can count.

This past week some old demons, if you will, have raised their heads and I have found myself once again fighting and weary.  This morning God brought to my mind that conversation with my husband last spring and some verses I learned this past year shortly after that conversation.  "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"  Exodus 14:14 and "The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is His name" Exodus 15:3.
I hear the call once again, not into battle, but into rest.

A Laundry Ditty

I hate laundry.  Laundry day at my house is every Tuesday and Friday.  I try, I really do try, to be grateful that we have clothes; I try to be grateful that I have these 3 wonderful people in my life that I am "able" to do laundry for.  I probably could be a little more grateful if they would not dirty so much.  Reality:  I try to be grateful, but when I am being gut wrenchingly honest.... I HATE LAUNDRY!!

Last year it was time to replace my dryer.  The dryer we were replacing was one we had purchased off of Craigs List for $100.  My sister and her 2 boys were living with us at that time and my parents' hand-me down dryer that we had owned since Rick and I married had given out.  With 3 adults and 4 kids in this house hanging wet clothes got old fast so we purchased a dryer the guy said was on it's last leg, but it was all we could afford then.  When the Craigs List dryer gave up the ghost last year we decided to also replace my parent's hand-me down washer with it and get a set.

I did a lot of research and hoped that this would be the cure to my hate of laundry.  The set we settled on said they both sang a little tune when they were done.  HOW COOL!!!  How could you not want to do laundry when your machines sings to you.  I mean come on!!  So we purchased them, had them installed, and brought all the dirty clothes to the laundry room.  Success!  I wanted to do laundry!

That lasted for a couple of months.  Now, that little ditty that my machines play taunts me.  It isn't just a little jingle, it is a SONG!  It calls me, and I mumble hateful words under my breath.  Sometimes I answer it's call, sometimes I don't.  Mostly I just wonder why I ever thought that little ditty would make me want to do laundry.  I might have yelled at it to SHUT UP a time or two, who knows.

They really should let you program your own song into the machines.  Something to get you motivated like Eye of the Tiger or Another One Bites The Dust by Queen.  It could play something that just goes along with the fact that I would rather be doing anything other than laundry like Knee Deep by Jimmy Buffet and Zac Brown Band.  Or if it was really good it could just feed me compliments with You Are So Beautiful by Joe Cocker. Now THAT is a laundry duo I could get along with.

Megan and Missions

My Megan.  She is an amazing person.  We have told her all her life, since she was a baby, that God has special plans for her life.  When she was old enough to understand what we were saying she began to ask how we knew that to be true.  We have told her how we almost lost her in pregnancy.  We have told her about an early labor/delivery with some difficulties and how she wasn't breathing well when she was born.  We have told her about some health issues she had when she was little.  We have told her about 2 different near death experiences she had before she was 5 yrs. old.  We tell her that God could have taken her to heaven at any of those times, but He didn't.  We have told her over and over about how we see God moving in her life and about the spiritual growth we see in her.  We tell her we KNOW He has special plans for her life and if she will allow Him to lead her to that purpose she will see what an AWESOME God He is.

She is shy.  She is funny.  She is gifted.  She is independent.  She is strong-willed.  She is tender-hearted.    She is loyal.   She loves deeply.  She is a friend to the friendless.  She seeks out those standing in the shadows.  She has a broken heart for the lost kids in her school.  She teases her sister mercilessly, but will defend her fiercely.  She loves Jesus and she wants other to also.

When she was in second or third grade she got off the bus one afternoon a little sad.  I asked her what was wrong and she told me about a boy on her bus that she had been talking to about Jesus.  She told me with surprise that he didn't know who Jesus was and he had never had a Bible.  She was so shocked to hear that anyone wouldn't have a Bible.  She HAD to get him a Bible.  So we did, and she wrote in it for him and couldn't wait to give it to him.  She would ask him every day if he was reading it.  He was, with his mom.  We don't see him anymore and don't know the outcome, but I do know those are 2 people she planted seed in.

It isn't unusual for her to get in the car in the afternoon and with tears streaming tell me "I don't think 'so-and-so' is a Christian."  She will tell me what happened to bring her to that conclusion and then she will ALWAYS say to me "Mom, we have to start praying for them."  Then, she will make sure we do every night.

Last night we had a missions emphasis at our church.  We had never been to a service like this one, but our whole family enjoyed it very much.  We were split into groups and rotated between 3 sessions.  Megan was in a different group than the 3 of us and I wondered if she would be bored and not pay attention.  On the contrary, when we met up with her her face was lit up.  She couldn't quit talking about the youth missions trip being considered for 2014. In the car on the way home she couldn't contain herself.  She told us how enthralled she was in every session.  She was pulled into the stories of the missionaries, and the facts given about the need for workers.  Then she said something I didn't expect to hear "Mom, Dad, I think I want to be a missionary.  I know I will have to get over being shy and I will work on that, but I really think this is what I want to do."

We talked for a long time last night about missionaries.  Rick and I shared some of our short term mission trip experiences with her.  She shared with me before bed more reasons why she thought this might be what God is calling her to.  She teared up.  I did too.  We prayed together for God's guidance now and in the years to come.  WE prayed for her heart to be open and tender to His leading.  We prayed for the mission opportunities that are before us now.  We thanked God for our church and the heart the staff and the people have for missions. We thanked God for who He created her to be and the tender heart for the lost that He gave her.  We prayed for her protection from the evil one who will try to distract her.  We prayed for courage.  

I don't know where this road will lead.  I don't presume to know what God has planned for my girl, but I am privileged to be her mom and to be along for the ride.

My Megan.  She is an amazing person!