Four More Years

Every year I look forward to summer break.  Things slow down, we get to sleep in, we spend days at the pool, we spend days in our p.j.s watching movies, we go to the library and then spend several days just reading and it is good.  Then, it always seems like we wake up one morning and realize school is right around the corner and we haven't done half of the things we wanted to do that summer break.

Every year I say "It seems like summer break just flew by.  It goes by faster and faster every year."  This year was no exception.  It seemed like we did not really even get a break.  Things did not slow down. We spent only a few days at the pool (thanks to all the rain).  We have been to the library once.  We HAVE been going like crazy, but it has been service related for the most part and it has been good. I do feel, though, that this summer break has gone faster than all the others

A few weeks ago Megan and I were alone in the car for whatever reason and it dawned on me while I was driving that she will be 15 in 3 months.  FIFTEEN!  I asked her if she would be wanting to get her driving permit when she turned 15  which she answered with a resounding YES!  So we talked about what she needed to start doing now to be ready for the test.  Then, when we were almost home I said quietly "I can't believe we are having this conversation."  She just smiled.

Since then I have thought more and more about the fact that my first born, my baby, will be starting High School in 2 weeks.  Time.  It won't stop, it won't slow down. It feels like we just brought her home from the hospital wondering what in the world we were supposed to do now.

Assuming she goes away to college like she has talked about for awhile now, we have 4 more years.  4 more years.  IT ISN'T ENOUGH.
Ever since she started Youth activities she has been busier.  This year we are throwing marching band into the mix and I can tell we just entered a new kind of crazy busy...our new normal.  A new phase of life for our family.

Don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining.  Quite the contrary, I am amazed at all she does.  I am loving watching her blossom and grow into the woman God is molding her to be.  I would be lying, though, if I didn't admit I wish we could slow it down.

From that conversation about driving a few weeks ago until now my mind has been all over the place.  My mommy heart was a little sad that we are here staring down High School.  My mind was stuck on the 4 more years and how little time that is.  I'm working on bringing my thoughts back full circle though.  Instead of thinking I only have 4 more years; I'm working on thinking I still have 4 more years.

Society has taught us to dread the teen years.  I will be honest I know who I was in my teen years..yikes!  I will be honest, too, and say that for years I was dreading the teen years.  However, now that we are here I don't know why we are ingrained to dread this time.  It has it challenges but so did every other phase of life.  Hanging out with her (as well as other teens at our church) is a lot of FUN! This time doesn't have to be terrible, in fact, it shouldn't be terrible.

I have no idea what is in store in the next 4 years.  I DO know this ~ I can hang on tight -too tight - and squeeze my eyes shut and just wait for the ride to be over.  ~ OR  ~  I can throw my hands in the air, let the wind blow through my hair, laugh loud and often, and enjoy the ride with my girl.

It will get crazy, that ride.  I'm sure of it.  Upside down, loop to loops, crazy turns, up hill and down. I'm not really a roller coaster kinda girl, but for my Megan, yup I will ride that ride.

I STILL have 4 more years.