My Grandparents

We just returned home Friday night from a trip to Texas to visit my Grandparents as well as any Aunts, Uncles and cousins we could fit in time to see.  It had been 2 1/2 yrs since we had seen them....waaay too long.  When you live 13 hrs away and have busy lives it makes it hard to make that trip.  Realizing though that my time with my grandparents gets shorter and shorter I knew we had to adjust our schedules and make the trip.  It was a time I don't think I will ever forget. My grandfather's health has been up and down for awhile now and my grandmother, who has struggled with memory loss for quite a few yrs, was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  We don't know how long it will be before she doesn't know who we are, but I knew I wanted to go before she forgot who I was.
After talking with my mom, and Aunts and Uncle it turned into a trip that would be kept as a surprise for them.  That was a lot of fun!!  I left TN bracing myself for the worst and hoping for the best.  I knew a lot of time and health issues had come and gone in the 2.5 yrs since I had seen them and I really wasn't sure what to expect.  Pawpaw looked a little more frail and Mawmaw of course would ask the same things over and over again, but all in all it wasn't the worst I had braced myself for.  She remembered Rick and I right away, she remembered the girls just not their names. Pawpaw smiled from ear to ear for at least 3hrs. after we surprised them. That was pretty worth the 13hr drive.
My grandmother had a procedure done while we were there and that left her needing to be still and sit and allow us to do all the cooking, cleaning up, laundry etc.  If you knew my Mawmaw you would know that is virtually impossible.  For as long as I have known her, her goal was to make sure we were all fed.  "Everyone comes to Mawmaw's to eat her roast and rice and gravy"  The pic above with us all around a table...that was just how it was.  It was a lot of work to keep her in the chair.  Not just because she wanted to do everything for us, but because she would forget why she needed to be still or that we had already planned out supper. I would tell her over and over when she would tell me I didn't come to her house to take care of her.."Mawmaw, you have fed me and waited on me all my life, NOW it is my turn to take care of you.  Please, let me do this for you" She would accept and then a few min. later we would do it all again.  I was forced to remember over and over all that she had done for me over the yrs. She is an amazing woman!
As you can see in the pics, my girls love Pawpaw.  They used to be able to get up in his lap, but pain (and their age, HA) prevent that anymore.  He use to get down in the floor and tickle them or pinch them with his toes, not this time.  He DID go out for 3hrs with my husband.  Rick took him to run errands and mark things off his list.  They had a good time and Pawpaw was happy to get out and about.  He also "worked" out in the yard with Rick. (Rick worked, Pawpaw pointed and directed) A year ago we weren't sure Pawpaw would get out of the bed again so seeing him busy was a wonderful thing.  One night I took Mawmaw grocery shopping.  She patted me on my leg while we were driving and said "This is nice.  Just you and I getting to do something by ourselves"  I realized I don't think she and I have ever done anything by ourselves.  It was just the grocery store, and she already doesn't remember going with me, but I remember and I will remember that little trip forever.
As we drove home and I went through the week in my mind as well as memories from the past my heart was full of mixed emotions. Sad for the road my Mawmaw is traveling.  Thankful for the memories I made this week as well as the ones I've had.  I thought about the work ethic they have.  They are by far the hardest working people I have ever know, and they have instilled that in their children, and grandchildren. My Pawpaw served in the military, retired from Texaco, drove a school bus for yrs, and even was a landlord for yrs.  Mawmaw raised her family and then drove a school bus for yrs as well.  All while taking care of their home and massive yard which they gardened in for yrs. They have a passionate love for the country and will be happy to talk war, politics, gas prices etc at any time. :)
They are a testimony to staying married.  They have been married 62 yrs.  Pawpaw and I were talking about that while I was there. All of their children and grandchildren who have married have stayed married. What a testimony to honoring their vows to each other and instilling that in their family.  Their legacy is amazing.  They have 4 children, 3 son-in-laws, 1 daughter-in-law, 13 grandchildren(pic above of some of us), 11 grandkid-in-laws and 24 great-grandchildren (pic above of just a few).
I could go on and on about them for hours to tell you all that I have learned from them, but I will stop. On the way home, while walking down memory lane I kept thinking about yrs ago when they loved the Judds and the song "Grandpa, Tell Me 'Bout The Good Ole Days" kept going through my head.  They may not remember the past and their memories a lot longer especially Mawmaw, but we their family will, I WILL. Memories/Stories we will pass on to our kids.

Learning From Running

I have been thinking today about what I have learned so far from Run for God as well as learning to run in general. 
First of all, I am as out of shape as I thought I was if not more.
Second, this is has been as hard as I thought it would be in some ways and easier than I thought in others.
Third, Satan really cares about this family running (or not), especially on Tuesdays when we meet with our Run for God group.
When Rick told our family he was going to run the Disney Half Marathon in Jan of 2012 I didn't think much about it until I realized he was very serious.  I knew I had been trying for a very long time to get our family active together and if this was what he was going to do then we as a family would have to join in to support him. I wasn't too sure about a Half Marathon, so I committed the kids and I to the Family Fun Run 5k @ Disney.  Immediately he began to tell people about his commitment so that people would hold him accountable. Someone told him about Run for God, we looked into it and he got really excited, I just got intrigued and a little nervous.  I realized we were really going to do this. uuuggghhh
It has been an amazing time for our family.  Even in Jan as we began walking and hiking just trying to build up stamina (without needing oxygen) until Run for God started in March.  We have learned a lot about each other. There is always one of us who wants to quit and at least 2 of us encouraging each other on.  This time together, for me, is one of the biggest bonuses of running.
I have aches and pains, but none of the ones I thought I would have.  My knees are terrible, part genetics, part tearing some  ligaments in one knee in H.S. (running, of course), and partly from falling down some stairs and spraining the other knee.  I can predict the weather with my knees.  Yet, the soreness in my knees has been very minimal.  A God thing I would say. I also have asthma, but as long as I pre-treat I have had ZERO issue with that too.  Another God thing.  The hardest part hasn't been physical, but mental.
The thought of finishing a 5k has gone from being something I felt there was no way on God's green earth I could do; to actually believing  that I can do it.  Each work out is a little easier.  Don't get me wrong I still argue with myself every Tues, Thurs, and Saturday but when I DO follow through I feel so amazing.  My body aches, but mentally I know I finished something I never thought I could do. Spiritually though, I know that without my Jesus this would not be possible for me. My relationship with Him becomes deeper each run.  From complaining to Him about the running, to praying for my fellow runners, to praying for needs for family and friends, to just praising and worshiping Him, to claiming promises from His Word.  It is quickly becoming a special time with my Savior. One of the other big bonuses of running.
Rick talks every week about  God getting all the glory when we cross that finish line and that I'm sure is why Satan cares if we run or not.  So I run not because I can, but because I want my Jesus to be glorified through me. I'm amazed that God cares about things like running and getting fit, but I know He does care. He cares about everything that matters to us, and He cares because He will receive the glory.  Satan won't win, He will. THAT is the biggest bonus of all!
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1

ME??? A Blogger???

I'm not sure how many times I have said "I'm not a blogger", but I'm sure it has been more than a few times.  Lately though, I find myself with a lot of things going through my mind that need to come out.  Facebook isn't the place, and when I try to tell them to my husband he seems to go into what I call the "uh-huh mode".  You know what I'm talking about...tune out wife, say uh-huh every once in awhile, hope it fits in the conversation.  No offense honey, I know I can go on and on about not much. SO, I decided to start a blog , if for no one else but myself (which I realized is easier said than done, I think I may need a blogging for dummies book).  Finally I will have a place to put down all those thoughts and maybe my brain will shut off at night and I can sleep.

If you know me well you know that fear/anxiety is a struggle for me.  It seems to come in waves, but when it is here it stays for awhile.  I realize it is that fiery dart that Satan fires at me often, and trusting HIM is something God calls me to often.  I'm very confident of my salvation (although I haven't always been), yet dieing is something I am very afraid of.  I honestly could give you several reasons, none of them good ones.  Recently I read in a book where the author had written a prayer..."I want to want your will Lord"  How many times have I tried to give God a lot of reasons why HE should want MY will???  "Wanting to want HIS will " has become a daily prayer for me. One of the things that has helped bring it home for me was going to the funeral of the lady who was my "surrogate grandmother" as my dad called her at her funeral.  It was a lot harder than I though it would be for a lot of different reasons, fear being one of them.  There was a sweet older couple sitting in front of us who I would guess was in their 70's or so. I didn't know them and I am sure they had no idea who I was.  Towards the end of the funeral someone sang Beulah Land, not an unusual funeral song.  But this man you could tell REALLY was longing for "home" and as he began to shout GLORY, and wave his hankie in the air tears began to stream down my face.  I was beginning to realize Heaven really IS my home!!!! This earth is a place I am just passing through.  Dieing isn't something to fear, but to look forward to!!  I have 2 sweet children here, but they have secured their eternity.  I also have 3 precious ones I have never met there, I can't wait for that day!
I am positive Satan will continue to shoot the fiery dart of fear at me, and some days it will be a big struggle to trust in my Heavenly Father.  For now though I know that I can go running into His arms, crawl up in His lap, and say "Daddy, I'm scared"  and I know that He will quiet me with His love and sing over me.  I know this because He tells me so in Zephaniah 3:17, I cling to this verse every day.
This blog is intended for me to have a place to put these kinda thoughts, I am learning daily how to live for my Jesus.  I want my life to count for HIM.  I want to point others to Him. I want to be able to say, when I do reach Heaven, I failed often, but I loved my Jesus and lived my life for Him.  I am sure I will be learning how to live until that day.