Chosen

There is an ebb and flow that comes in my quiet time with my Jesus; I'm sure this is true for most everyone.  There are times when I spend time in the Word and prayer and while it is good it isn't earth moving.  There are times when no matter how hard I try to "get something" from my time with Him He seems silent.  Then there are times where He is so obviously present and speaking to my heart that I don't want to move from that place of devotion because I don't want it to end.

This morning was one of those precious moments.  My scripture reading was in Revelation which is sometimes hard for me to understand.  I did, however, try to imagine what it will be like to worship at His feet, with the angels, around His throne.....I'm confidant my imagination will never do it justice.

As my time turned to prayer He was faithful to bring to my heart and mind areas where confession was needed.  Confession turned to intercession for many I love.  Part of that intercession was for several families I know walking the road to adoption or have recently adopted.  Families who put themselves out there to rescue children realizing that at some point it could end in heart ache.  The plan is obviously to enter a relationship with that child/ren, to guide them to Jesus, to be their Mommy and Daddy, to give them a better life.  There is always that knowledge in the back of their mind though that something could change and that relationship might never be, that their heart could be shattered.  Still they put themselves out there willing to risk the hurt for the chance to be that child's parent.

As I prayed for these families God spoke to my heart that had just confessed my failings to Him.  Isn't that just what He did for us? He created us.  He created each person just exactly the way they are, flaws and all, because He wanted YOU exactly the way you are.  He could have made us little robots who immediately chose to do His bidding.  He could have created us to be perfect, acting and being the best little Christians.  Instead, He gave us free will.  He put Himself out there and then gave us a choice.  He risked the heartache of our rejecting Him.

 I do believe that if He created me to be just exactly who HE wanted to me it is because He desires to enter into relationship with ME and if I reject that relationship His heart is broken. He chose me, He wants to adopt me into His family.  He wants to give me a better life than the one I would have without Him.  He wants my obedience, but He also wants my love. He wants my life surrendered to Him. He wants an intimate relationship with me.  He wants to guide me.  He wants to comfort me.  He wants to teach me to be like Him.  He wants to be my Abba Father, my Daddy. He wants ME!

I chose years ago to accept His offer of sonship/daughtership and even though I fail Him He has never let me go.  I am overwhelmed by Him this morning.

UPDATE: 11/4/13

Almost a year has passed since I wrote this post and yesterday's Sunday School lesson brought it to mind.  The families I was praying for that day have all seen a final result to their adoption journey.  One family just recently returned from Ethiopia with their son.  One family walked the whole pregnancy and birth experience with a lady in their town who chose adoption instead of abortion. They recently celebrated their son's 6 month "birthday".  One family knew the heartache of an adoption journey that did not end the way they thought it would.  Two children did not and will not come "home".  Each family chose to walk the adoption journey knowing that there was a chance that it could end in sadness and not celebration. Still, they chose to follow God's leading and step into that journey.

As we talked about adoption into God's family yesterday in Sunday School I remembered the days and days of prayers for these families and it once again brought home to me how God chooses us.  He will pursue each of us.  He will offer the gift of adoption of sonship.  He will put Himself out there knowing some will accept and some won't.  He will risk the heartache because He loves each individual so much and He desires that relationship. I am once again so thankful for an Abba Father who loved me so much he chose me.  He adopted me into His family.  He gave me the option of accepting Him or rejecting Him.  He knew it could mean sadness instead of celebration, still He chose me.

Matriarchs of My Faith

This morning I was cleaning away like I try to do most every Monday morning if I am on top of my game.  My music was loud and I was elbow deep into bathroom cleaning when the phone rang.  I could not get to it in time and so ended up listening to a message from a voice I hadn't heard in quite some time.  A lady, whose family were members of a church my dad pastor-ed years ago, called to let me know another lady had passed away this morning.

I have not seen Jean Rader in a  very long time and if I'm being honest assumed she had already passed away years ago.  When I was probably around 8 or 9, give or take, she was Mama Jean and her mother was Granny Robertson to my family.  They were members of our church and were so kind to my family.  Most likely they were equally kind to every family in our church, but back then in my mind my family was extra special to them.  Granny Robertson made amazingly yummy homemade bread and Mama Jean always had some sugar-free candy in her purse or the candy dish in her home for us.  I remember meals in their home and some of the sweetest hugs ever came from those two ladies.  I say I assumed Mama Jean had already passed away because in my young mind they were both "so old" back then, but my "older yet wiser" self tells me they weren't really.

Hearing of her death didn't bring tears; like I said I haven't seen her in decades.  It did, however, bring my mind to the women who have been a part of my life who have passed away recently.  That, in turn, led me to thinking about the women past and present who have been Matriarchs of My Faith.  Mama Jean and Granny Robertson were definitely two of those as well as the lady who called me today and of course my Mom.

There were so many names that came to mind and I thought I would list them all and the things I learned from them, but I knew that would make this way too long and I'm sure I would forget some ladies.  Suffice it to say I have been blessed with women who lived out their faith in front of me.  There have been women who have been a part of my life at different stages of my life and some it seems have just always been there.  Some who may not even know that they made an impact on me.  Some who maybe I didn't know at the time what an impact their faithful walk would make on my life until I was older.  I have seen examples of Godly marriages, examples of being faithful when life falls apart, examples of Godly parenting, examples of close intimate relationships with Jesus, and SO much more. I am so grateful for the women God has placed in my life all through out my life.

My thoughts then  turned to MY example to OTHER girls/women.  Am I a Matriarch of Faith to any of the girls and women who come across my path?  I certainly hope first and foremost I am to my daughters, but what about others???  I'm praying for a boldness that does not come natural to me.  A boldness that comes from God alone.  I'm praying for chances to invest in the lives of  girls/women that come across my path in ways that will impact the Kingdom.

I may never know this side of Heaven the lives God allows me to invest in just like I am sure there are women who don't realize how much they invested in me.  I can just imagine though that in Heaven there will be some gab fests.  Women circled around each other hugging, laughing, and sharing all that we have meant to each other.  I can't wait!