Be Still

A little less than a year ago there was a whole lot going on in our family.  Not that there isn't a lot going on now, but last year it was a different kind of "a lot".  Most of it very few people knew about.  Our family, Rick and I specifically, were in the midst of spiritual warfare that was tougher than any we had been through in our marriage. Our marriage has seen it's share of issues just like any other, but that wasn't what was happening.  In fact, through it all last year, our marriage has come out stronger than ever.  The battle was strong and the oppression seemed stronger.

I remember sometime last spring telling Rick that I felt like I was constantly fighting.  Fighting the kids, fighting with him, fighting against Satan.  I told him I felt like the warfare was too much and I was war weary.  He spoke wisdom to me that day (have I ever told you how much I love that man??) and it was exactly what I needed.  He said "I understand what you are saying, but God doesn't ask you to always fight.  Sometimes He wants you to be still and let Him fight for you."  I can be a bit of an arguer and I like to have the last word.  I tried to come back with something, but I had nothing I had to let that sink in and let his words of wisdom wash over me.

There are times I KNOW I am called into battle.  I have told you about that  before.  I had not considered up to that point that God not only doesn't  need me to fight, he doesn't always want me to fight.  I have spent a lot of time in this past year learning the difference between the two.  I have spent time looking for places in God's word where He tells me He is my mighty warrior; learning the songs that give praise to the Lord our Mighty Warrior.  I have learned to lean in hard to Him and to ask Him to fight for me and to help me to be still and to know when it is my time to enter the battle.

In this past year we have made some very hard decisions for our family. We have walked away from what was familiar for the last 15 years.  In this last 6 months God has shown us in so many ways that the fight was not only necessary it was for our good.  The ways He has proved Himself to be trustworthy, loving, faithful, and good are more than I can count.

This past week some old demons, if you will, have raised their heads and I have found myself once again fighting and weary.  This morning God brought to my mind that conversation with my husband last spring and some verses I learned this past year shortly after that conversation.  "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"  Exodus 14:14 and "The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is His name" Exodus 15:3.
I hear the call once again, not into battle, but into rest.

A Laundry Ditty

I hate laundry.  Laundry day at my house is every Tuesday and Friday.  I try, I really do try, to be grateful that we have clothes; I try to be grateful that I have these 3 wonderful people in my life that I am "able" to do laundry for.  I probably could be a little more grateful if they would not dirty so much.  Reality:  I try to be grateful, but when I am being gut wrenchingly honest.... I HATE LAUNDRY!!

Last year it was time to replace my dryer.  The dryer we were replacing was one we had purchased off of Craigs List for $100.  My sister and her 2 boys were living with us at that time and my parents' hand-me down dryer that we had owned since Rick and I married had given out.  With 3 adults and 4 kids in this house hanging wet clothes got old fast so we purchased a dryer the guy said was on it's last leg, but it was all we could afford then.  When the Craigs List dryer gave up the ghost last year we decided to also replace my parent's hand-me down washer with it and get a set.

I did a lot of research and hoped that this would be the cure to my hate of laundry.  The set we settled on said they both sang a little tune when they were done.  HOW COOL!!!  How could you not want to do laundry when your machines sings to you.  I mean come on!!  So we purchased them, had them installed, and brought all the dirty clothes to the laundry room.  Success!  I wanted to do laundry!

That lasted for a couple of months.  Now, that little ditty that my machines play taunts me.  It isn't just a little jingle, it is a SONG!  It calls me, and I mumble hateful words under my breath.  Sometimes I answer it's call, sometimes I don't.  Mostly I just wonder why I ever thought that little ditty would make me want to do laundry.  I might have yelled at it to SHUT UP a time or two, who knows.

They really should let you program your own song into the machines.  Something to get you motivated like Eye of the Tiger or Another One Bites The Dust by Queen.  It could play something that just goes along with the fact that I would rather be doing anything other than laundry like Knee Deep by Jimmy Buffet and Zac Brown Band.  Or if it was really good it could just feed me compliments with You Are So Beautiful by Joe Cocker. Now THAT is a laundry duo I could get along with.

Megan and Missions

My Megan.  She is an amazing person.  We have told her all her life, since she was a baby, that God has special plans for her life.  When she was old enough to understand what we were saying she began to ask how we knew that to be true.  We have told her how we almost lost her in pregnancy.  We have told her about an early labor/delivery with some difficulties and how she wasn't breathing well when she was born.  We have told her about some health issues she had when she was little.  We have told her about 2 different near death experiences she had before she was 5 yrs. old.  We tell her that God could have taken her to heaven at any of those times, but He didn't.  We have told her over and over about how we see God moving in her life and about the spiritual growth we see in her.  We tell her we KNOW He has special plans for her life and if she will allow Him to lead her to that purpose she will see what an AWESOME God He is.

She is shy.  She is funny.  She is gifted.  She is independent.  She is strong-willed.  She is tender-hearted.    She is loyal.   She loves deeply.  She is a friend to the friendless.  She seeks out those standing in the shadows.  She has a broken heart for the lost kids in her school.  She teases her sister mercilessly, but will defend her fiercely.  She loves Jesus and she wants other to also.

When she was in second or third grade she got off the bus one afternoon a little sad.  I asked her what was wrong and she told me about a boy on her bus that she had been talking to about Jesus.  She told me with surprise that he didn't know who Jesus was and he had never had a Bible.  She was so shocked to hear that anyone wouldn't have a Bible.  She HAD to get him a Bible.  So we did, and she wrote in it for him and couldn't wait to give it to him.  She would ask him every day if he was reading it.  He was, with his mom.  We don't see him anymore and don't know the outcome, but I do know those are 2 people she planted seed in.

It isn't unusual for her to get in the car in the afternoon and with tears streaming tell me "I don't think 'so-and-so' is a Christian."  She will tell me what happened to bring her to that conclusion and then she will ALWAYS say to me "Mom, we have to start praying for them."  Then, she will make sure we do every night.

Last night we had a missions emphasis at our church.  We had never been to a service like this one, but our whole family enjoyed it very much.  We were split into groups and rotated between 3 sessions.  Megan was in a different group than the 3 of us and I wondered if she would be bored and not pay attention.  On the contrary, when we met up with her her face was lit up.  She couldn't quit talking about the youth missions trip being considered for 2014. In the car on the way home she couldn't contain herself.  She told us how enthralled she was in every session.  She was pulled into the stories of the missionaries, and the facts given about the need for workers.  Then she said something I didn't expect to hear "Mom, Dad, I think I want to be a missionary.  I know I will have to get over being shy and I will work on that, but I really think this is what I want to do."

We talked for a long time last night about missionaries.  Rick and I shared some of our short term mission trip experiences with her.  She shared with me before bed more reasons why she thought this might be what God is calling her to.  She teared up.  I did too.  We prayed together for God's guidance now and in the years to come.  WE prayed for her heart to be open and tender to His leading.  We prayed for the mission opportunities that are before us now.  We thanked God for our church and the heart the staff and the people have for missions. We thanked God for who He created her to be and the tender heart for the lost that He gave her.  We prayed for her protection from the evil one who will try to distract her.  We prayed for courage.  

I don't know where this road will lead.  I don't presume to know what God has planned for my girl, but I am privileged to be her mom and to be along for the ride.

My Megan.  She is an amazing person!