Chosen

There is an ebb and flow that comes in my quiet time with my Jesus; I'm sure this is true for most everyone.  There are times when I spend time in the Word and prayer and while it is good it isn't earth moving.  There are times when no matter how hard I try to "get something" from my time with Him He seems silent.  Then there are times where He is so obviously present and speaking to my heart that I don't want to move from that place of devotion because I don't want it to end.

This morning was one of those precious moments.  My scripture reading was in Revelation which is sometimes hard for me to understand.  I did, however, try to imagine what it will be like to worship at His feet, with the angels, around His throne.....I'm confidant my imagination will never do it justice.

As my time turned to prayer He was faithful to bring to my heart and mind areas where confession was needed.  Confession turned to intercession for many I love.  Part of that intercession was for several families I know walking the road to adoption or have recently adopted.  Families who put themselves out there to rescue children realizing that at some point it could end in heart ache.  The plan is obviously to enter a relationship with that child/ren, to guide them to Jesus, to be their Mommy and Daddy, to give them a better life.  There is always that knowledge in the back of their mind though that something could change and that relationship might never be, that their heart could be shattered.  Still they put themselves out there willing to risk the hurt for the chance to be that child's parent.

As I prayed for these families God spoke to my heart that had just confessed my failings to Him.  Isn't that just what He did for us? He created us.  He created each person just exactly the way they are, flaws and all, because He wanted YOU exactly the way you are.  He could have made us little robots who immediately chose to do His bidding.  He could have created us to be perfect, acting and being the best little Christians.  Instead, He gave us free will.  He put Himself out there and then gave us a choice.  He risked the heartache of our rejecting Him.

 I do believe that if He created me to be just exactly who HE wanted to me it is because He desires to enter into relationship with ME and if I reject that relationship His heart is broken. He chose me, He wants to adopt me into His family.  He wants to give me a better life than the one I would have without Him.  He wants my obedience, but He also wants my love. He wants my life surrendered to Him. He wants an intimate relationship with me.  He wants to guide me.  He wants to comfort me.  He wants to teach me to be like Him.  He wants to be my Abba Father, my Daddy. He wants ME!

I chose years ago to accept His offer of sonship/daughtership and even though I fail Him He has never let me go.  I am overwhelmed by Him this morning.

UPDATE: 11/4/13

Almost a year has passed since I wrote this post and yesterday's Sunday School lesson brought it to mind.  The families I was praying for that day have all seen a final result to their adoption journey.  One family just recently returned from Ethiopia with their son.  One family walked the whole pregnancy and birth experience with a lady in their town who chose adoption instead of abortion. They recently celebrated their son's 6 month "birthday".  One family knew the heartache of an adoption journey that did not end the way they thought it would.  Two children did not and will not come "home".  Each family chose to walk the adoption journey knowing that there was a chance that it could end in sadness and not celebration. Still, they chose to follow God's leading and step into that journey.

As we talked about adoption into God's family yesterday in Sunday School I remembered the days and days of prayers for these families and it once again brought home to me how God chooses us.  He will pursue each of us.  He will offer the gift of adoption of sonship.  He will put Himself out there knowing some will accept and some won't.  He will risk the heartache because He loves each individual so much and He desires that relationship. I am once again so thankful for an Abba Father who loved me so much he chose me.  He adopted me into His family.  He gave me the option of accepting Him or rejecting Him.  He knew it could mean sadness instead of celebration, still He chose me.

Matriarchs of My Faith

This morning I was cleaning away like I try to do most every Monday morning if I am on top of my game.  My music was loud and I was elbow deep into bathroom cleaning when the phone rang.  I could not get to it in time and so ended up listening to a message from a voice I hadn't heard in quite some time.  A lady, whose family were members of a church my dad pastor-ed years ago, called to let me know another lady had passed away this morning.

I have not seen Jean Rader in a  very long time and if I'm being honest assumed she had already passed away years ago.  When I was probably around 8 or 9, give or take, she was Mama Jean and her mother was Granny Robertson to my family.  They were members of our church and were so kind to my family.  Most likely they were equally kind to every family in our church, but back then in my mind my family was extra special to them.  Granny Robertson made amazingly yummy homemade bread and Mama Jean always had some sugar-free candy in her purse or the candy dish in her home for us.  I remember meals in their home and some of the sweetest hugs ever came from those two ladies.  I say I assumed Mama Jean had already passed away because in my young mind they were both "so old" back then, but my "older yet wiser" self tells me they weren't really.

Hearing of her death didn't bring tears; like I said I haven't seen her in decades.  It did, however, bring my mind to the women who have been a part of my life who have passed away recently.  That, in turn, led me to thinking about the women past and present who have been Matriarchs of My Faith.  Mama Jean and Granny Robertson were definitely two of those as well as the lady who called me today and of course my Mom.

There were so many names that came to mind and I thought I would list them all and the things I learned from them, but I knew that would make this way too long and I'm sure I would forget some ladies.  Suffice it to say I have been blessed with women who lived out their faith in front of me.  There have been women who have been a part of my life at different stages of my life and some it seems have just always been there.  Some who may not even know that they made an impact on me.  Some who maybe I didn't know at the time what an impact their faithful walk would make on my life until I was older.  I have seen examples of Godly marriages, examples of being faithful when life falls apart, examples of Godly parenting, examples of close intimate relationships with Jesus, and SO much more. I am so grateful for the women God has placed in my life all through out my life.

My thoughts then  turned to MY example to OTHER girls/women.  Am I a Matriarch of Faith to any of the girls and women who come across my path?  I certainly hope first and foremost I am to my daughters, but what about others???  I'm praying for a boldness that does not come natural to me.  A boldness that comes from God alone.  I'm praying for chances to invest in the lives of  girls/women that come across my path in ways that will impact the Kingdom.

I may never know this side of Heaven the lives God allows me to invest in just like I am sure there are women who don't realize how much they invested in me.  I can just imagine though that in Heaven there will be some gab fests.  Women circled around each other hugging, laughing, and sharing all that we have meant to each other.  I can't wait!

Calvary Love

God has been doing such a work in me through our church.  It seems that in every service/class there is a conviction and a knowledge that I have a lot of work to do. The Gospel Project in Sunday School, the new members class on "What Is The Church?", 1 John on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights are coming from the book "Trusting God Even When Life Hurts" by Jerry Bridges, and Beth Moore "Mercy Triumphs: the Book of James" on Wednesday nights.  A common "thread" seems to be "Am I putting my faith into action?"  Are my words and thoughts towards the world condescending?  Are my thoughts and words and actions towards fellow believers right, are they pure, do they reflect Christ's love?  I have found myself lacking in a lot of areas.

If you know me at all you know I tend to have an opinion about anything and I tend to speak before I think.  I will then over-think everything I said once I have walked away and usually wish I could take back 50% of what I said and rephrase the other 50%.  One of the things Beth Moore said last week in Bible Study was "He knows when your motive was right but your mouth messed up." I am so thankful for that!  I had a moment like that Sunday in Sunday School.  I made a statement that I meant with good intentions, but the way I said it was condescending and prideful.  It has bothered me all week and I have laid it at the feet of Jesus and I'm trying not to pick it back up.

There are other times, however, when I just say things that are NOT meant with good intentions and are not pleasing to my Father.  They certainly don't "flesh out" (as our Pastor says) God's love.  Our Pastor referenced a small book by Amy Carmichael called "IF. What Do I Know Of Calvary Love?"  I had heard of Amy Carmichael, I had read her story, but I had never heard of this little book.  He referenced several parts of it and I left that morning so convicted by my attitude and things I say about others.  I ordered the book on Amazon and while you could sit down and read it in 15 min. I have broken it down to a little bit each morning, some mornings just re-reading parts and always praying where the Holy Spirit convicts (which is pretty much every morning).  One statement that I know I struggle with is:  "If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting 'who made thee to differ? and what hast thou that thou hast not received?' then I know nothing of Calvary love".
 I know who I have been and what I have done.  I know who I am now and how I fail Him.  What would ever make me think I should belittle or talk about someone??

The school crossing guard at Erika's school is someone I have talked about negatively almost every morning that I drive her to school for as long as I can remember.  She always has a scowl on her face and seems to be someone who really hates her job.  I in turn have criticized the way she does her job and the fact that she can be so sarcastic with the looks and hand motions she gives people in the morning and wondered aloud "why she does this job if she hates it so much?".  I have never wondered what is going on in her life that has made her so unhappy.  I have never prayed for her. I have rarely even smiled at her.  I have never prayed prayers of gratefulness that she puts her life in danger to keep my children safe and have certainly never prayed for her safety.

This morning while taking Megan to school an ambulance passed us going the other way towards Hunter Rd.  While on my way home I heard on the radio that just about 15 min prior our school crossing guard was hit by a car.  The report was that she was hit hard, it was serious, and she was rushed to the hospital.  I don't know if she is ok, I don't know if she died, I don't know if she knows my Jesus.  I DO know I never "fleshed out" my Jesus towards her. My heart aches this morning for her and that I failed my Savior. I immediately prayed  for her, her family, and the other person involved. Then I laid my sin before my Father and am praying for a changed heart towards others.

I don't want to be that kind of person.  I want to love people the way Jesus loves.  I am thankful that He is a forgiving God.  I am thankful that He is still changing and refining me.  I am thankful for His discipline, even though it hurts, because that means He loves me and wants to change me "for my good and for His glory".  How could I not share that with others??

"If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love." ~ Amy Carmichael

Kitchen Catastrophe

When Rick and I married I couldn't cook, not really.  I could make some yummy cookies and I cook eggs just about any way you wanted them.  I could also make a mean piece of toast...in the toaster, not that yummy way my Mawmaw used to make it in the oven; that would have been a nasty piece of toast.

When we first got married we had Hamburger Helper, Chicken Helper and Tuna Helper until we thought we were going to turn into that little talking gloved hand.  Throw in a couple of recipes my mom, his mom and his sister gave me that I just cooked over and over since I didn't know what else to do and spaghetti out of a jar and we were under enthused about supper most nights. I figured it was time to step up my game in the wife area and learn to cook.

I loved Food Network and watched that a lot.  Rick cooked and I paid attention. Between those two things and figuring out I could read a recipe and follow it we started eating all kinds of yumminess.  Bye, bye Hamburger Helper, ICK!

Now days I pretty much always cook a recipe once by the directions then I will almost always tweak it.  I figured out pretty quick I loved cooking, especially for parties or for others. I've gotten pretty good at it if I do say so myself.  I don't like mess ups in the kitchen.  I can convince my prideful self I'm better than that.  I guess God  laughs at that and today needed to teach me a lesson.  Those are usually no fun.

I am pretty OCD in the kitchen partly for safety reasons partly because I'm just an OCD crazy mess. Two of my kitchen pet-peeves are drawers and cabinet doors left open and lids not screwed on to items.  One is a safety thing and the other is just a mess waiting to happen to the next person who picks up said item.

Megan has friends coming over for a birthday slumber party tonight so I headed to the kitchen this morning to make a cake and some homemade snacks for them.  I always like to get all my ingredients out first then put them away as I use them (there is that OCD crazy again!).  I was getting out the oil and darn it if someone didn't put the lid on it all the way.

I knew it as soon as it was in the air and it felt like time went into slow motion.  I could feel it slipping out of my grasp.  I tried to get it to the cabinet before it slipped out of my hands, but I was just a half an inch short. It hit the floor on it's bottom.  On it's side would have been much better it would have just spilled on the floor. Nope, it hit on it's bottom...with me leaning over it trying to stop it somehow.  The lid shot off and oil splattered everywhere.  I was covered in it.  I just stood there.  Oil dripping from my fingers, off my glasses, down my nose, out of my hair onto my already covered face. I just stood there and dripped.

I was H.O.T.!!  I wanted to scream.  WHO LEFT THE LID UNSCREWED???????  I stood there dripping oil and realized it was......me.

So,  my hair will probably look like I am going through puberty again for the next few days.  My glasses have a haze on them I can't quite get off.  My arms, hands and face got a skin softening treatment I didn't have to pay for. I washed with soap and hot water so many times and it is still there.  My kitchen floor feels like the floor in a fast food kitchen; I'm slipping around trying to walk in there.  I probably will be mopping more than a few times today and I'm sure I will be finding oil splatters in weird places for days to come.

Lesson learned God.  I'm not so great after all and definitely not beyond a kitchen catastrophe or two.

Say His Name

This morning's Bible Study required me to be gut-wrenchingly honest about some things.  Of course  I could have skirted some issues, I could have put the church answer down, I could have just skipped the section, but I have really desired to walk away from this study a different person so I tried to dig deep and give the real answers.  Those answers surprised even me a bit I think.  Some issues I felt like I had already dealt with, but when I wrote the first answer that came to my mind after reading the question I realized I wasn't as far a long as I thought.

I had to stop mid study and just pour my heart out.  To do some confessing, to realize there is work to be done. I finished my study and like I tend to do, I turned on some music.  The plan was to pray more with a little background music, but like what sometimes happens in my quiet time I ended up just worshiping in song.

The songs that played made me think about the names of God.  There are so many names. 

Recently, Megan and I were in the car and the song Great I Am came on, a favorite of ours. We were singing a long and then she said.  It is so cool.  The power that is in the name of Jesus.  That demons flee at the mention of His name.  Oh, I was so close to a shouting time in that little car with one of my favorite people.  That she would have a realization in that moment of the power of our Jesus's name...that is some good stuff!! We talked about what an honor it is to be able to speak His name.  That there is power in His name. We talked about some of His many names and the times when we might use different names.  We talked about how He likes to hear us say His name.

I remember as a child my dad preaching on the names of God. He gave the example of how he liked to hear my mom call him by his name and how God is the same way.  

Rick calls me different things....Honey, babe, Stace, but when he says my name..Stacy....he has my full attention.  I love the sound of my husband saying my name.  

My Heavenly Father feels the same way when I say His name.  I can call on His name and the power it brings and the tormentor will flee.  I can say His name and I have His full attention. I can stop mid study and pour out my heart to Him. I can seek forgiveness, I can worship at His feet, I can offer Him all the love that my human heart can give.  He wants to hear me say His name.



 Lord of all creation, God Almighty, Ancient of Days, the Holy One,  King of Kings, Protector, Healer, Prince of Peace, Savior, Sacrificial Lamb, Redeemer, Refuge, The Great I Am, Abba Father, Jesus.

The Worry Box

Erika is very much like her momma.  Sometimes that isn't a good thing.  I have talked to a lot of people about how she has struggled with fear, like her momma, and tried a lot of things to help her. She specifically has a fear of storms or rain or even just rain clouds with a forecast of possible rain.  Thanks to the April '11 and March '12 tornadoes she has to know the weather all the time.  She wants to know the forecast before she goes to sleep and again in the morning before she goes to school.


We are members of the Poindexter library on McCallie, which if you don't know is a Christian Library that is a part of The Chattanooga Bible Institute.  While we were there one day this summer we came across a book called  "What To Do When You Worry To Much:  A Kids Guide To Overcoming Anxiety".  It was a workbook and we checked it out and did the whole thing.  While it helped some, she was not real accepting to some of the exercises (which the parent part of the book said may happen).  One of the things it suggested was a mental worry box.  When she felt worried she was to imagine herself putting that worry in a box and not taking it out, then changing her thought pattern.  When she wanted to discuss her worries with me I was supposed to tell her we would talk about them all at once at bedtime for now to put it in the worry box.

The problem we had with this was the imaginary part.  She would cry and sometimes scream "The worry box doesn't work, it isn't real."  Once again at a loss of what to do I continued to pray over her for freedom as well as wisdom on what to do for her, how to help her.  How do I guide my child in the very area that seems to be my own "thorn in the flesh"???

Knowing that the ONLY thing that helps me when I feel anxious is to go to God's Word is what helped me try what I feel is beginning to help her.  We made that imaginary worry box into a REAL worry box and coupled it with flip cards full of God's Word.

I covered a shoe box with a brown paper bag (remember making book covers with a brown bag back in the day?) and wrote Bible verses on the top and sides.

I intentionally left it plain, I didn't want it to pretty.  Fighting Satan's fiery darts of fear is not pretty.  I wanted verses that spoke directly to her fear on the box.  I gave her a stack of empty 3 x 5 cards and a marker to put beside her box and a spiral bound book of 50 3 x 5 cards each with a promise from God to protect her or a call to be courageous, or a promise of His love for her.

Each night I tuck my girls in.  Yes, I still do.  They are almost 14 and 9 and I have decided unless I am sick or not home (or fall asleep before they do HA!)  I will be in their room tucking them in and praying over them.  So I explained to Erika how our new routine would work.

I go up to her room with her, we have a little chit-chat about anything on her mind.  We go over her Awana book, and then each night we take one verse from her flip cards and she reads it to me.  I break that verse down and explain to her what it means and make sure she understands it and then we pray.  I do NOT ask her if she has worries to put in the box.  I try not to place any thoughts that are not already there.  I told her that as thoughts came up she should just write them on a card, put it in the box and then pull her verse cards out and read as many as she needs to until she has changed her thoughts from Satan's attacks to God's peace.  I encourage her to read them out loud to bolster herself but also to let Satan know she is claiming God's Word, she is His child and Satan has no claim on her.

Last night instead of explaining the verse to her I asked her if she knew what it meant.  That girl took that verse bit by bit and broke it down for me. YES, YES, YES!!! It was music to my ears.  

At first it was hard to get her to stay in her room at night and put her worries in the box and then go to scripture, but it is getting better.  She still has her days, so do I, but she is learning and I am loving it. She wanted people on my blog and in  FB world to know what we are doing and how it is helping her. :)

I asked Megan about a week ago if she would like some verse cards too.  I knew she didn't really struggle with fears, at least not the kind Erika struggles with, but she does need God's Word pouring into her.  She said yes and I am excited to be putting a stack of 50 verses together on who she is in Christ, His promises to her, his call to her to live Audacious (that came from youth camp) in her walk with Christ.  

I'm overwhelmed and blessed to be pouring into my girls the love of my Savior, my Sustainer, my Prince of Peace, my Rock, my King of Kings, my All-in-All.  What an awesome, amazing privilege.

Time To Get Their Cooking On!

 

It is no secret to those who know our family that I don't give my kids a free ride.  Just because I don't leave the home to work does not mean I don't work hard but it also does not mean I should do everything around the house.  I did not dirty it all by myself and I certainly don't plan on cleaning up by myself.

We have a nightly chore chart that works year round and we have a list of chores that they do everyday during the summer.  During the summer they do their own laundry 2 times a week from start to finish and during the school year I wash it and dry it they have to fold it and put it away (I do occasionally fold it for them if a lot is going on at school).  Once a week they help with cleaning the house. We don't make them do quite as many chores during the school year since they have more going on.

The one thing I have not made them do is help with the cooking.  I am not great at dividing out responsibility when it comes to the kitchen. They have both helped a lot with catering jobs we have done and they are very good at it AND enjoy it; but that is in a big kitchen, our kitchen is tiny and I'm just not great at trusting them with knives and hot ovens.

If you read my previous post you know that disrespect is something we are having issues with in our home.  One of the areas is around the dinner table.  Complaints about what we are having, calling things gross, complaining that I never cook the things they like, even not coming to the table when called (multiple times) to the point the food is getting cold. This past week this momma had had enough, it is time for my girls to get their cooking on!!!!

A while back a sweet friend of mine told me that when her daughter did this she made her responsible for one meal a week.  She had to plan it from the ingredients they had (my friend shops once a month) and cook it.  I thought it was time we start this in our home.  I mean come on, they need to know how to cook anyway right?

Our menu for the next 2 weeks has been made and the groceries bought so our girls will pick one meal  each per week and cook it.  On the next menu planning/grocery trip they will have to decide what they are going to make, make a shopping list for me, and cook it on their assigned night.  We explained to them that it is time for them to learn all that goes into a meal...the planning and the work.  They need to realize how rude it is when people complain or don't come to the table before dinner gets cold, how insulting it is when you deal with it night after night. 

Megan's response was "That sounds cool, this will be fun." Yeah, we shall see how fun she thinks it is after a few meals. 

 Erika's response was to sob uncontrollably because "she doesn't know how to cook, no one will like her food, everyone will complain, she doesn't know what to make".  While trying not to laugh I assured her this was really what it is all about.  I told her if she can read a recipe she can cook and that she would get a little assistance at first until she was comfortable with everything to be left alone.  Erika announced if she is doing the cooking we will be eating a lot more Italian. 

 I guess we will have to tweak the rules of this as we go. Like you HAVE to add vegetables to your menu, No we won't have lasagna once a week, and we are on a hamburger budget not a steak budget.  I will let you know how it goes. If you see smoke coming from Harrison I'm sure it is a cooking lesson night in the Landess home.

Parenting: Rewarding vs Hardest.Thing.EVER

Parenting.

It is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.  Yes, it also more rewarding than I ever thought it would be.

I love my children with all that I am. However, the molding and shaping and pointing them to the Savior is the hardest thing ever.  Seeing even glimpses of who they are becoming, rejoicing when then make the right choices, the hugs, the kisses, hearing "I love you Mom" are some of the best things ever.

Lately we seem to be struggling so much with respect....or the lack of.  Whether it is towards me, Rick, their sibling, or even others. The world wants my child to think they have rights.  That they are allowed to speak to me in any way they want.  That I have no right to expect things of my children.  My Bible teaches me, and yes them, differently.

So how do you teach your children to be respectful?  How do you handle it when they are not?  How do you handle it when they get mad at you for things that are completely out of your control?  Like you HAVE to go to the grocery store and your child is mad at you for that because they really want to stay home and play.  Like they are running a fever so your plans for swimming get canceled.  Like every time something doesn't go their way and somehow it is always your fault.

There are times that the disrespect is blatant and handling it isn't difficult.  Other times I feel uncertain as to how to handle it.  Disrespect is a huge pet-peeve of mine and frankly I'm exhausted with dealing with it on a daily basis. I feel like my child's punching bag some days. (Not literally punching me of course, this momma isn't crazy I won't stand for mess like that!)

Don't get me wrong.  I have good kids.  We could be dealing with a lot worse things right now I realize that.  I just feel like I'm hitting a brick wall on this one. Last night while tucking my youngest in (and the one who seems to be fighting me the hardest on this issue) I was answering her question and taking her back to what God's Word said and she said "Mom, I know this may be mean to God, but I wish you wouldn't always bring everything back to what God says."  A part of me wanted to do a fist pump and scream "YES, she hears me.  She gets that it always comes back to what God says." and the other part was just sad that she didn't want to hear it.  I did tell her that it was not only mean to God, but broke His heart that she would feel that way and that is was disrespectful to Him since she has Him in her heart and He wants to guide her  for her own good.

We talked a little longer and while she didn't say anything else ugly she also didn't say anything positive.  We prayed I left still feeling like I didn't get through and I don't know what else to do.  This morning has been a roller coaster of disobedience and disrespect.  I am trying to keep my calm and patience, but feel like soon I'm not gonna be doing so well at that.

So what DO you do to teach your teach your children respect and obedience?  What do you do when they don't follow through?

Craving Some Uninterrupted Time

I LOVE summer, I really do, but I am craving some uninterrupted time.

When the kids are in school I very much enjoy my time with my Jesus.  Getting the hubby off to work and the kids off to school and then sitting down with my Bible and my coffee usually is my favorite time of day.  I adore my family they are everything to me next to my relationship with Christ.  However, having the house all to myself for quiet time, which rarely is all that quiet, is special to me.

I usually begin with scripture reading; I am on my second time around of reading through the Bible in a year.  Sometimes I will add a chapter or two from a book I may be reading like "Power of a Praying Wife".  I end with prayer...always out loud and almost always with tears happy or sad; I'm weird like that.  Monday I try to pray for everyone on my list and through out the week I break it up and focus more intently on specific people/situations/things.  Sometimes I put on praise and worship music while I am praying and sing to the Father.  Sometimes, my heart is so burdened or so full of love I just need to be at the feet of Jesus pouring out my heart.  Whatever the day hold unless I have something planned I generally have as long as I need to spend with Jesus.

When my kids are out of school for the summer I love all the extra time I get with them, but I miss my lengthy very vocal times with my Jesus.  I have tried to get up earlier, but somehow my Erika knows I am up and always joins me.  :)  I do tell them I am going to have my quiet time and close the door, but I get interrupted after awhile. I think it kinda scares them too to walk in and see mommy with tears rolling down her cheeks talking out loud to no one in the room.  My kids are old enough to understand I am having a quiet time and what that means and they are respectful of that time... for awhile.  I still have my time with Him it is just different when they are here vs. when they are not.

Today my heart is aching for some long, uninterrupted, all by myself, ugly crying, talking out loud, hands raised, heart poured out, standing in the gap for others time with my Jesus.  I can't really explain it better than that.

NYPD

I often think I should be a food critic.  My family and I love a new, unique eating experience. We tend to be foodies and love it.  We will take it all in, try to order something we have never had and then when we leave we will dissect our experience as soon as we get in the car...the food, the decor, the building, the service, the atmosphere, the ease of getting there, what we did and didn't like, what would we order differently.....

We went to the Aquarium today and then came home and watched Happy Feet 2.  Our menu for the week had us eating baked fish tonight, but after our day looking at fish at the Aquarium and a movie where penguins are eating fish having fish for supper didn't seem appetizing.  So a quick decision took us to a new place in Hixson called New York Pizza Department (NYPD).

Here are highlights from our post-dinner conversation:

* It  is a little difficult to get to depending which way you are coming from.  It is in the little shopping center across from Wal-Mart. 
* It is a little small inside, but they did a good job maximizing their space with tables outside and bar-type seating along the walls.  The decor was great though. It had a New York feel to it.  Keep in mind I have never been to New York City, but it was what I would imagine a pizzeria might be like there.  One wall is the New York skyline.  Pictures of NYPD/FDNY, New York, and a tribute to 9-11 cover the walls.  The guys working the counter were loud, but really nice. The atmosphere was a lot of fun.
* The menu is large and a little overwhelming, but everything looked yummy.  They offer you a menu to take with you which is nice, I will be planning my next visit from it.  We ordered a Convict Concoction which was Italian sausage, pepperoni, ham, onion, mushrooms, mozzarella, and authentic New York sauce.  IT WAS HUGE!!!  It was true New York pizza thin crust big slices everyone was folding it to eat it. STUPID DELICIOUS! 
* They sell pizza by the slice as well as some great looking sides and salads that were making my mouth water watching other people eat them while we waited on our pizza.  A whole pizza was too much food and from now on we will order by the slice with a salad and a side to split between us.  This will also allow us to all order different and try all the yumminess they offer.
* If you want cheap/quick pizza go to Little Ceasars  (ICK!), or even Papa Johns or Dominoes, but for a pizza experience and a fun atmosphere this place is a must from the Landess' opinion.  It wasn't overly expensive...We had the large 22' pizza and 4 drinks for $30. Ordering by the slice starts at $2.75 and they have a lunch special of 2 cheese slices and a 20 oz drink for $6.50.
*  It is a family owned place not a chain so go support local business so they won't close down!  You might want to look the menu over before you go it may help the process a little for ya. Here is the link to their place.
http://www.indoughwecrust.com/index.html

Armour Up!

I have learned over the last year or so that sometimes when I feel out of sorts whether it is feeling anxious or just physically blah God is trying to tell me something.  Usually it is to be still and listen.  A lot of times it is so that He can speak peace into my heart and soul through a situation I am going through.  Then there are the times He wants me to armour up on behalf of someone else to stand in the gap for them.  It is called spiritual warfare.  I believe that there are times I can physically feel the call to battle.  Today has been one of those days already.
After I drop Megan off at school and drive home the sun is rising and a lot of times it is where I begin my prayer time for the day.  This morning I was pondering something a friend said Monday about how sometimes we talk too much, we know all the Christian words to say.  I know that I talk waaaayyy too much and this morning I knew God was telling me to Be STILL!!!

I have been unsettled all morning.  I chalked it up to a couple of different things.  I knew I needed to get in God's Word and He spoke to me right off.  I was reading in Exodus 14.  The Israelites are leaving Egypt they are coming up on the Red Sea.  God has just delivered them and already they are afraid and grumbling.  Moses tells the people in vs. 13
"Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. THE LORD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU;YOU NEED ONLY BE STILL. vs 19 Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army withdrew and went behind them.  The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them.  Coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel.  Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side so neither went near the other all night long. Exodus 15:7 In the greatness of  your majesty you threw down those who opposed you.

 God fights for me!!!  He surrounds me!  How awesome is it that?!? He left the front of the army where He was so He could lead them to go to the back so He could protect them!  He brought darkness to the Egyptians so they could not see the Israelites and light to the Israelites so they could see where to go.  He stood between them and death and pointed them to life.
I began to pray trying to not bring anything from my list of prayer needs to Him, but only to be thankful for who He is and that He is my mighty warrior.  I knew though that this wasn't just about me I needed to pray these verses for some specific people.  Saturday morning I felt the same way.  We had so much to do and I felt horrible.  I began to pray for peace and then began to pray consistently through the day for our youth group outreach event.  God used Black light doge ball as an opportunity for our youth to reach out and our youth pastor to share the Gospel to over 100 kids.  43 were saved!!!!! God had called me that morning to enter into battle for those souls.
This morning I feel off and realized He is calling me into battle again.  I have a couple of things I feel strongly that He wants me to pray for today. I am cranking up the worship music and I am praying all day.  I'm praying God will fight for these people, He will surround them, protect them from Satan.  That I will have a clean heart so that I can be effective for Him in my prayers and however He would use me in each situation.  I may not see the immediate result of today's battle and maybe I will.

All I know is Ex 15:3  The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is His name. James 5:16...The fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
 "Oh Praise the Lord our Mighty Warrior.  Praise the Lord the Glorious One.  By His hands we stand in victory.  By His name we overcome."
 The only way to find peace and calm in my day is to armour up and enter the battle.  Sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it??  It's not, I promise.

Sticks And Stones

One of my biggest pet peeves is people being mean/disrespectful to other people; whether it is to their face or behind their backs.  It happens on facebook everyday and it isn't just teenagers (or younger kids who really shouldn't even be on fb).  Grownups can be the meanest of all.  It starts at such a young age and carries on into our adult years.  This idea that if I make others feel small it will make me feel bigger/better. What are we teaching our kids????


I can not tell you how many conversations I have had with my girls in this last week about things people have said about them or things they have said about their sisters or other people.
I will be honest I have my moments. I can cut to the jugular with my words and maybe that is why I get so upset with others who do it.  I don't like that side of me.  When I am in the flesh I can hurt others.  When I am in The Spirit it hurts me to see people hurting others with their words.

The little song we all have sung as kids.."Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me."  It is the biggest lie out there.  Words hurt....DEEP.  Those hurts last a lifetime. We can't ever seem to get them out of our heads. 

It makes me angry to have conversations with my girls about things people say to them.  It leaves scars.  As their mom my words of encouragement and affirmation may help, but will never overcome the damage their peers have done. 

It makes me angry that my girls say hurtful things to each other as sisters or to their parents.
It makes me angry that my girls believe the hurtful lies people throw at them.
It makes me angry that society says if someone hurts you, hurt them back.
It makes me angry that peer pressure says its funny to make fun of other people...even in our church groups.

It makes me angry that females are the worst at doing this.
It makes me angry that I have done these things too.
It makes me sad.

Sarcasm, mean-ness, taunting, belittling, joking about how people look, act, talk...it hurts, it's mean, and if you (I) are a Christian it is damaging to your (my)testimony.

Job Status: Mom

Today Erika almost drove me crazy with the rolling her eyes and huffing at me like I was an idiot. Girl, don't make me be that mom that goes all crazy on your butt!  Megan mumbled "Whatever" at me when I dropped her off at school and I told her to have a great day.  "Girl, I will get out of this car and embarrass you in front of everybody chasing you down saying I LOVE YOU MEGAN!" She laughed and quietly said "Oh, I love you, bye" and closed the door and took off towards the school as quick as she could.  She knew I would totally do it!

Almost everyday I wonder how it is possible that I am a mother of a 13 and 8 year old.  I miss my kids being little so much it hurts my heart.  I want to tell every mother of small ones I meet to treasure the moments, hang on to them, enjoy them. Set aside your "stuff" for Elmo, finger painting, play dough, the zoo, picnics, reading books, the park.  Be patient with them, let them be little.  Cuddle, sing to them, rock them.
The baby/pre-school years are stupid hard, they were for me, but they are some of the sweetest years if we slow down and enjoy them. I didn't do enough of that and man, I wish I could go back and do it over.
I was the mom who wished for the next stage, the next phase.  Sometimes because I knew the next phase meant more independence and an easier time for me.  Sometimes because I just loved to see them accomplish something new.  The one thing I regret though was not enjoying enough the phase they were in at the moment.
We played a lot, laughed a lot, did special things together just not enough.

 My kids are in some difficult stages right now.  Erika, so close to the tween years I can see them coming. The attitude, oh my goodness, she is like a different person.  Megan, half way through her first year as a teen and all the awkwardness that middle school years bring. Torn between feeling grown, but still wanting to be a kid. Yet, even though these can be some difficult ages they are also some of the most fun; it really depends on the day maybe even the hour.

 My girls are C.R.A.Z.Y!!!  I love it, though.  I love that they both have a sense of humor that leaves me rolling in the floor, tears of laughter streaming down my face.  I love that they love to laugh.  I love their amazing smiles and their wit.  I love their personalities that were just blooming when they were little, but now I can see them in all their glory.  When they were little Rick and I used to sit and talk about what kind of girls/women they would be.  I love that we are starting to see that now.

I'm trying so hard these days to set aside my desires, the things I want to do in a day, and focus more on them.  I believe my girls need to have responsibilities around the home, I believe they need to learn to cook, do laundry, clean, be responsible for their things and themselves.  They are old enough for that.  I am learning that there is no reason I can't do these things WITH them, along side them, making them fun. I'm also learning sometimes we can set aside the things we need to do and do some things we want to do, having fun is needed.  I am still learning that it isn't just about training them up in the way they should go but also about enjoying the blessings God trusted me with while I still have the time.


Some days I want to go back and redo it, and given the chance (with what I know now) I would do it all better or at least different.  Some days I just adore the life stage that we are in now.  It is hard, frustrating, and sometimes heartbreaking to see choices they make and choices I make. It is also fun, amazing, life changing, and so rewarding. As hard as it can be, as disappointing as it can sometimes be, those 2 girls are the laughter in my day, they amaze me with their intelligence, they inspire me to do better.

I am in awe that God trusted me to mother these 2 amazing people.  Knowing what He knew about me, the terrible choices I made in the past and the ones I would make in the future with them, He still chose me to be their mother.   Some days I take it too lightly, and other days it blows me away.  Today, it blows me away!

Brave, Stupid, or Crazy?!?!?

Today started like most any day.  Up early, packing lunches, making breakfast (read: cereal, banana, yogurt, fix it yourself or go hungry), answering yells of "could you throw up stairs my....",shouting out the time so people will get their butts in gear and getting my family out the door.  Next is my favorite loneliest/most sad (do you believe me HA) part of the day.  It is finally quiet I can do my quiet time, play around on the computer enjoy a small breakfast and plan out my day. 
This week I have been especially lazy when it comes to my quiet time and last night as I was trying to sleep I realized that just like always when I don't spend time in the Word and alone time with my Jesus my attitude is horrible.  Throw in not sleeping well and I was due a good spanking from my Heavenly Father for my attitude this week, and boy did I get it.
This morning as I was driving home from taking Child 1 to school I began to pour out my sins to my Father and committed to do my quiet time as soon as I got the Hubby and Child 2 out the door.  I read Romans 11 and 12 this morning and realized while I had confessed some sins this a.m. God wasn't done showing me what else I needed to take care of.  Romans 12:3-5, 9-16 was were I knew without a doubt I was getting reprimanded and getting that spanking I deserved.  I'm not gonna tell you what I did, that is between He and I.  I'm also not gonna tell you what those verses say, if you really want to know go read it, you may need it too. Hehehe.
After I had read my Bible I was in the shower and thinking through what I had read, confessing (again), praying for wisdom and strength to do the right things when I heard a loud knocking sound.  You have to understand here that last year we had someone snooping around our back porch and I'm pretty sure they got scared off when they heard me coming. We also had someone last year tampering with the gas tank on our car like they were trying to steal gas. We ALSO had a home invasion in the neighborhood behind us 2 weeks ago. SO....Que the music to Psycho in my head! I am peaking around the curtains and locking the bathroom door and thinking about what I'm gonna do.
I worked out what I was going to say to the Psycho that had obviously decided to invade my home. Que the Rocky music... I was going to tell him that he was pretty stupid coming into MY house.  He had no idea who he was messing with. I was going to tell him that maybe he would take my life today, but he needed to know I was a child of God and someday somewhere my Father and His mighty warriors would get him and he WOULD pay for touching one of God's children. It played out in my mind 3 ways.  One way the guy decides he wants to know more about Jesus.  One way the guy decides I'm the psycho and leaves.  The last way, dude kills me.
I got out of the shower and got dressed because I for sure wasn't going head to head with someone in a towel! I grabbed Rick's knife and headed out to get me some stupid person.
I found out rather quickly the loud noise was my dishwasher.  There were no home invaders who needed to meet my Jesus or who were going to send me to meet Him face to face. 
There was only a noisy dishwasher and one stupid/crazy person standing there with a knife in her hand who most likely would NOT have told a burglar anything like what she planned out in her head, but most likely would have just screamed her fool head off!