Time To Get Their Cooking On!

 

It is no secret to those who know our family that I don't give my kids a free ride.  Just because I don't leave the home to work does not mean I don't work hard but it also does not mean I should do everything around the house.  I did not dirty it all by myself and I certainly don't plan on cleaning up by myself.

We have a nightly chore chart that works year round and we have a list of chores that they do everyday during the summer.  During the summer they do their own laundry 2 times a week from start to finish and during the school year I wash it and dry it they have to fold it and put it away (I do occasionally fold it for them if a lot is going on at school).  Once a week they help with cleaning the house. We don't make them do quite as many chores during the school year since they have more going on.

The one thing I have not made them do is help with the cooking.  I am not great at dividing out responsibility when it comes to the kitchen. They have both helped a lot with catering jobs we have done and they are very good at it AND enjoy it; but that is in a big kitchen, our kitchen is tiny and I'm just not great at trusting them with knives and hot ovens.

If you read my previous post you know that disrespect is something we are having issues with in our home.  One of the areas is around the dinner table.  Complaints about what we are having, calling things gross, complaining that I never cook the things they like, even not coming to the table when called (multiple times) to the point the food is getting cold. This past week this momma had had enough, it is time for my girls to get their cooking on!!!!

A while back a sweet friend of mine told me that when her daughter did this she made her responsible for one meal a week.  She had to plan it from the ingredients they had (my friend shops once a month) and cook it.  I thought it was time we start this in our home.  I mean come on, they need to know how to cook anyway right?

Our menu for the next 2 weeks has been made and the groceries bought so our girls will pick one meal  each per week and cook it.  On the next menu planning/grocery trip they will have to decide what they are going to make, make a shopping list for me, and cook it on their assigned night.  We explained to them that it is time for them to learn all that goes into a meal...the planning and the work.  They need to realize how rude it is when people complain or don't come to the table before dinner gets cold, how insulting it is when you deal with it night after night. 

Megan's response was "That sounds cool, this will be fun." Yeah, we shall see how fun she thinks it is after a few meals. 

 Erika's response was to sob uncontrollably because "she doesn't know how to cook, no one will like her food, everyone will complain, she doesn't know what to make".  While trying not to laugh I assured her this was really what it is all about.  I told her if she can read a recipe she can cook and that she would get a little assistance at first until she was comfortable with everything to be left alone.  Erika announced if she is doing the cooking we will be eating a lot more Italian. 

 I guess we will have to tweak the rules of this as we go. Like you HAVE to add vegetables to your menu, No we won't have lasagna once a week, and we are on a hamburger budget not a steak budget.  I will let you know how it goes. If you see smoke coming from Harrison I'm sure it is a cooking lesson night in the Landess home.

Parenting: Rewarding vs Hardest.Thing.EVER

Parenting.

It is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.  Yes, it also more rewarding than I ever thought it would be.

I love my children with all that I am. However, the molding and shaping and pointing them to the Savior is the hardest thing ever.  Seeing even glimpses of who they are becoming, rejoicing when then make the right choices, the hugs, the kisses, hearing "I love you Mom" are some of the best things ever.

Lately we seem to be struggling so much with respect....or the lack of.  Whether it is towards me, Rick, their sibling, or even others. The world wants my child to think they have rights.  That they are allowed to speak to me in any way they want.  That I have no right to expect things of my children.  My Bible teaches me, and yes them, differently.

So how do you teach your children to be respectful?  How do you handle it when they are not?  How do you handle it when they get mad at you for things that are completely out of your control?  Like you HAVE to go to the grocery store and your child is mad at you for that because they really want to stay home and play.  Like they are running a fever so your plans for swimming get canceled.  Like every time something doesn't go their way and somehow it is always your fault.

There are times that the disrespect is blatant and handling it isn't difficult.  Other times I feel uncertain as to how to handle it.  Disrespect is a huge pet-peeve of mine and frankly I'm exhausted with dealing with it on a daily basis. I feel like my child's punching bag some days. (Not literally punching me of course, this momma isn't crazy I won't stand for mess like that!)

Don't get me wrong.  I have good kids.  We could be dealing with a lot worse things right now I realize that.  I just feel like I'm hitting a brick wall on this one. Last night while tucking my youngest in (and the one who seems to be fighting me the hardest on this issue) I was answering her question and taking her back to what God's Word said and she said "Mom, I know this may be mean to God, but I wish you wouldn't always bring everything back to what God says."  A part of me wanted to do a fist pump and scream "YES, she hears me.  She gets that it always comes back to what God says." and the other part was just sad that she didn't want to hear it.  I did tell her that it was not only mean to God, but broke His heart that she would feel that way and that is was disrespectful to Him since she has Him in her heart and He wants to guide her  for her own good.

We talked a little longer and while she didn't say anything else ugly she also didn't say anything positive.  We prayed I left still feeling like I didn't get through and I don't know what else to do.  This morning has been a roller coaster of disobedience and disrespect.  I am trying to keep my calm and patience, but feel like soon I'm not gonna be doing so well at that.

So what DO you do to teach your teach your children respect and obedience?  What do you do when they don't follow through?