Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Worry Box

Erika is very much like her momma.  Sometimes that isn't a good thing.  I have talked to a lot of people about how she has struggled with fear, like her momma, and tried a lot of things to help her. She specifically has a fear of storms or rain or even just rain clouds with a forecast of possible rain.  Thanks to the April '11 and March '12 tornadoes she has to know the weather all the time.  She wants to know the forecast before she goes to sleep and again in the morning before she goes to school.


We are members of the Poindexter library on McCallie, which if you don't know is a Christian Library that is a part of The Chattanooga Bible Institute.  While we were there one day this summer we came across a book called  "What To Do When You Worry To Much:  A Kids Guide To Overcoming Anxiety".  It was a workbook and we checked it out and did the whole thing.  While it helped some, she was not real accepting to some of the exercises (which the parent part of the book said may happen).  One of the things it suggested was a mental worry box.  When she felt worried she was to imagine herself putting that worry in a box and not taking it out, then changing her thought pattern.  When she wanted to discuss her worries with me I was supposed to tell her we would talk about them all at once at bedtime for now to put it in the worry box.

The problem we had with this was the imaginary part.  She would cry and sometimes scream "The worry box doesn't work, it isn't real."  Once again at a loss of what to do I continued to pray over her for freedom as well as wisdom on what to do for her, how to help her.  How do I guide my child in the very area that seems to be my own "thorn in the flesh"???

Knowing that the ONLY thing that helps me when I feel anxious is to go to God's Word is what helped me try what I feel is beginning to help her.  We made that imaginary worry box into a REAL worry box and coupled it with flip cards full of God's Word.

I covered a shoe box with a brown paper bag (remember making book covers with a brown bag back in the day?) and wrote Bible verses on the top and sides.



I intentionally left it plain, I didn't want it to pretty.  Fighting Satan's fiery darts of fear is not pretty.  I wanted verses that spoke directly to her fear on the box.  I gave her a stack of empty 3 x 5 cards and a marker to put beside her box and a spiral bound book of 50 3 x 5 cards each with a promise from God to protect her or a call to be courageous, or a promise of His love for her.

Each night I tuck my girls in.  Yes, I still do.  They are almost 14 and 9 and I have decided unless I am sick or not home (or fall asleep before they do HA!)  I will be in their room tucking them in and praying over them.  So I explained to Erika how our new routine would work.

I go up to her room with her, we have a little chit-chat about anything on her mind.  We go over her Awana book, and then each night we take one verse from her flip cards and she reads it to me.  I break that verse down and explain to her what it means and make sure she understands it and then we pray.  I do NOT ask her if she has worries to put in the box.  I try not to place any thoughts that are not already there.  I told her that as thoughts came up she should just write them on a card, put it in the box and then pull her verse cards out and read as many as she needs to until she has changed her thoughts from Satan's attacks to God's peace.  I encourage her to read them out loud to bolster herself but also to let Satan know she is claiming God's Word, she is His child and Satan has no claim on her.

Last night instead of explaining the verse to her I asked her if she knew what it meant.  That girl took that verse bit by bit and broke it down for me. YES, YES, YES!!! It was music to my ears.  
At first it was hard to get her to stay in her room at night and put her worries in the box and then go to scripture, but it is getting better.  She still has her days, so do I, but she is learning and I am loving it. She wanted people on my blog and in  FB world to know what we are doing and how it is helping her. :)

I asked Megan about a week ago if she would like some verse cards too.  I knew she didn't really struggle with fears, at least not the kind Erika struggles with, but she does need God's Word pouring into her.  She said yes and I am excited to be putting a stack of 50 verses together on who she is in Christ, His promises to her, his call to her to live Audacious (that came from youth camp) in her walk with Christ.  

I'm overwhelmed and blessed to be pouring into my girls the love of my Savior, my Sustainer, my Prince of Peace, my Rock, my King of Kings, my All-in-All.  What an awesome, amazing privilege.

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