Beer in My Daughter's Backpack

My youngest was pretty determined that I not take a nap today.  It wasn't really a nap I was hoping for; really I just wanted some time to close the bedroom door and talk through some things with Rick.  Heartbreak and despair were close to happening for my girl, though.  She couldn't find her pack of Hubba Bubba bubble gum that she bought with her last $2.  $2 that, until a couple of days ago, had been lost for a really long time.  Seeing the trend yet?  We informed her that bubble gum was not the kind of thing that warranted interrupting and sent her on her sad little way.

When our conversation came to an end I went to help her go through her room looking for the lost Hubba Bubba.  While there I saw her backpack and searched it. Pause with me for a moment....my daughter is (in)famous for 2 things:  Losing things, and hiding things in random places.  She sees no problem with this. I want to scream over it.  SO, searching bizarre places in her room is normal.  Back to my story....I knew she hadn't used her backpack for 2 weeks, but anything is possible in E's room.

I didn't find the gum.  What I DID find was her lunchbox and water bottle from the last day of school before Christmas break.  2 WEEKS AGO! Just to help paint a picture for you ~ that day for lunch she had something in a baggie but I really couldn't figure out what it was, spaghetti in a thermos (the smell, oh my goodness), and a half empty water bottle.  Not one of those plastic kinds with the cute little flip up straw, no the kind that are aluminum and have the tight seal on the lid.  

I was done looking for that Orange Crush flavored sugar rush.  I had to get this science experiment to the kitchen. I cleaned out all the garbage and put the thermos to soak in super hot soapy water.  I didn't throw up.  I gagged a lot, but I didn't throw up.  Now to clean out the water bottle.  I couldn't get it open.  It was stuck. I got two towels, one for each hand to help with my grip, all the while marveling at E's ability to close this thing so tightly.

Finally, when I thought my already jacked up back was not going to let me fight this thing anymore, there was a pop, a loud hiss, and a spray EVERYWHERE!  It scared me to death. I stood still with my eyes closed for a second.  Checked to make sure I still had all my bodyparts.  Then I smelled the smell.  It smelled like someone had shook up a can of beer and popped the top.  That is the moment I realized I had not put water in her water bottle.  Nope, that would make too much sense.  I opened my eyes to see a foaming amber liquid pouring out of my girls's water bottle.  That day 2 weeks ago I had put apple juice in her water bottle.  And now, it was all  over me, all over the walls, all over E's art project, all over the clean dishes, even all over the ceiling.

Just in case you need a science project idea for your kids apparently if you keep apple juice sealed real tight for a couple of weeks you get apple beer or apple wine....you get fermented apple juice and a kitchen and some clothes that smell like you've had more than a few.

Life lessons for me:  Don't pack apple juice in my daughter's backpack on the last day of school at all, ever again.  Always, always, always make sure they put their lunch boxes in the kitchen BEFORE they take their backpacks upstairs.  Be prepared for anything coming out of E's room (or backpack).

You read the title and thought I was gonna spill some juicy tidbits from the Landess house didn't you?  Shame on you.  :)

By the way, we never did find the gum.