Disclaimer For Seeking Him

As we are wrapping up this study at church I feel like I have to give a disclaimer.

If I am not careful I can become a "Bible Study Junkie".  You know what I mean?  Just going from study to study, learning something, but not really being changed.  It can be as much about fellowship as actual Bible Study.

In December I saw a need to get in The Word more with my family, specifically my oldest daughter.  I was looking for a study we could do together when I learned we would begin Seeking Him at church at the beginning of the year.  I set my search aside and decided that M and I would do this study with the ladies of our church.

I will be painfully honest, I really didn't think I had a lot to work on.  I know I am not perfect, I know I have some struggles, but before we started this study I thought for the most part I was "doing ok".  God must have given that sad smile we give our kids when we know they are about to learn a life  lesson....the hard way.

As we began to deal with Humility, Honesty, Repentance, Grace, Holiness, Obedience, Forgiveness (and more) He began to show me the ugly.  The Great Physician opened me up and the stench came out.  Then He said "Now, we can get to work.  First we have to remove the infection and THEN the real healing begins."

Truth?  It hasn't always been  wasn't ever easy.  It has been painful and heart wrenching.  At the beginning of the book it asked the question most Bible Studies ask:  Why did you take this study?  I wrote my answer and at the end wrote "I am hoping for a personal revival.  I fear walking away unchanged."  He didn't ignore my request.

I have learned that pride is a huge sin that I have allowed to fester and must deal with and allow Him to remove. I have learned that God has placed in my life and in His Word true examples of Godly humility and I can and should learn from them.  I have learned and/or been reminded how vast is the grace of God. I have learned how honesty, repentance, holiness and obedience work together and ways I need to put each attribute into practice in my life.  I have had to seek forgiveness and give it.  I have learned that I wasn't "doing ok" like I thought, BUT that He wasn't writing me off.  Thank you, Jesus, He isn't done refining me!

There have been times when I told God "ENOUGH!  I don't want to do this anymore!"  He always reminds me of when I was in labor with M.  The epidural did not work and 20+ hours into labor I was exhausted and scared.  When they told me it was time to push and I thought my body could NOT take anymore pain I screamed at the Dr and my husband "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!  I CAN'T DO THIS!"  They smiled and told me "You ARE doing this.  You have no choice, we are here now."  Breathe. Push. Breathe.

So my disclaimer for Seeking Him is this:
Do not take this study if you are looking for just another study to do with your friends.  Do not take this study if you aren't willing to be gut wrenchingly honest with God.  Do not take this study if you don't want Him to expose your ugly and ask you to deal with it.  Do not take this study if you just want Him to leave you unchanged.
However, if personal revival is what you seek, if your desire is to walk into a deeper relationship with Him, if you want to truly surrender all, if you are willing to allow Him to strip it all away in order to bring you out different, more like Him ....  the Bible Study Seeking Him is a good place to start.

It will be hard work.  It could get pretty painful.  The outcome, though, is something beautiful.  He won't leave your side.  Breathe. Push.  Breathe.