I LOVE my small group! We eat, we laugh, we cry, we share in each other's lives, we enjoy being together. We are able to be real with each other whether it is in rejoicing or the ugly stuff that life brings our way.
Last night we laughed a lot, a product I'm sure of missing each other and finally being back together.
Somehow in the course of our storytelling and laughing, I shared some (funny) things from my past which somehow led to some things (not so funny) that had been said to me as a teenager. Things that hurt more than I will ever be able to comprehend. Words said by people whose words carry a bunch of weight.
The evening went on and we laughed a whole lot more, but somehow speaking about that pulled a band-aid off an old wound. I found myself thinking about it late into the night and even this morning. It's crazy, and awful, how we can put things behind us but sometimes when we least expect it there it is again.
I don't want to deal with this anymore. I am tired of those words having power over me.
While I was getting ready for work and thinking about all this How He Loves came on my playlist.
Man! How He Loves ME!
Our pastor has been making sure we hear "God loves who you are where you are right now. Not some future version of you. He also loves you too much to leave you where you are. It's ok not to be ok."
I thought of THOSE words as I got ready this morning. All the times and different places in my life where Jesus has loved me right where I was AND how HE has changed me. He knew my thoughts and my battle this morning and was so gracious to remind me who I am.
Words carry a lot of weight with me and I am confident Satan will continue to use them to tempt me to believe a lie, but I am so thankful He is faithful to replace those lies with His truth.
I pray that as much as I choose to believe His truth about me I keep in mind that He feels the same about others. I want my words to carry life not hurt and pain.
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