Fat Is An Ugly Word.

Today I have my Erika home with me.  She isn't sick I know that now.  She gets up a lot of mornings and says she doesn't feel good usually I talk her through it and off she goes.  Today though I let her stay with me.
I left her laying on the couch so I could have my quiet time.  When I came back to check on her she was having some goldfish and laughing at a show.  She seemed fine.
So I asked her to mute the T.V. and lets talk.
I have noticed that she has been bit of a worry wart since the tornadoes in April, but it hasn't just been towards storms.  I told her I noticed she gets a tummy ache almost every morning and when I told her she could stay home today it went right away so it seems she is getting nervous about going to school.  I had it in my mind my girl must be getting bullied, or was struggling in some way in class.  What she said shocked me and broke my mommy heart!
She is afraid that people are gonna make fun of her because she is "fat" (her words not mine).  I asked her if people WERE making fun of her or if that is what she thinks.  There have been a few snide comments, but mostly she said she THINKS that is what people are thinking of her especially new people she doesn't know.
We spoke for a little longer then I came to my room to sit with my Jesus with my thoughts.  At first I was SO angry at our society that would teach any girl, but especially girls who are SO young, about body image. That my 7 yr old would use the word fat in description of herself and it has her all tore up.
Then my thoughts shifted, I realized I have taught my daughter 2 things that are not valuable to her in any way.  How to worry and how to over eat.  Two things I am skilled at, two things I never wanted to pass down to my children.
I sat and talked with the only One who knows and understands my heart on this matter.  The One who understands that what I want to do with worry and food I do not do.  The One who created me, my Megan and my Erika.  The One who understands a woman/girls struggle with self image. The One who tells us all we are beautiful, because HE created us. The One who knows how much I want to shift the tide for myself and my girls both with weight and worry.  The ONLY ONE who can make those changes in and through us.
So this morning I poured out my heart to Him.  I asked for His forgiveness for my failure in these areas.  I told Him I have no idea how to move forward for all 4 of us, but I want to.  As much as I want it for myself and Rick I want it SO MUCH more for my precious girls.