If it is possible to have a week from hell (sorry if that is offensive, but it is the truth!) and have a close walk with my Savior and my husband at the same time that has been the case for me the last 2 weeks.
My anxiety is out of control right now and I am at pretty confused and frustrated about it. I know the Truth, I know Who has my future and the future of my family, I know the irrationality of my fears somehow I just can't get my mind, heart, soul, and body to link up lately. Usually when I hit this point I feel like God is absent and my husband just doesn't get it and so he doesn't want to talk about it. This time though, God has been as close as I have ever felt Him to be, His words of love, acceptance and grace have been whispered lovingly into my ear daily, each moment. My husband has walked with me also speaking words of love and acceptance, next to my Savior he is my rock. He has let me know that I'm not as crazy as I think I am and God is bigger than all of this. This morning he suggested I blog about The Well, our new ministry at Hixson First Baptist. I said that was pretty personal and I didn't think I wanted to do that. He said "You don't have to publish it, but write about it anyway." I decided after my quiet time I would, because maybe someone out there will benefit. Maybe it will just help me today to be a little more real with myself and with others.
I won't lie when I first heard about The Well I was skeptical, and critical. I struggled with several things about it. I prayed a lot about it. Spoke to a couple people about it. Spoke to my husband about it. I decided that I was gonna give this a fair shot and if I stopped going it would only be because God lead me away.
God is pretty amazing, He knows my pride, He knows my struggles, He knows that change can be hard even when it was something we said we wanted, He knows what we need and He always gives it in HIS time.
God knew that these last 2 weeks were gonna be so insanely tough. He knew my heart would be crying out to Him for help. He knew what I needed.
The worship was awesome. Everything I thought it would be, everything I thought I wouldn't like about The Well....IT WAS NOT THERE. The music hit me right where I needed it. From "You are Peace when my fear is crippling.....Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace. Light of the world forever reign." To a song that was new to me. Song of Moses by Chris Moerman (who led worship) he talked about a part in the song where it says God is our Mighty Warrior. He said we think of Jesus as gentle holding a lamb..and He is that but He is also our Mighty Warrior. OH I NEEDED THAT last night! To know that God isn't just sitting back saying "Its ok" and patting me on the head, He is actively fighting for me! "Oh praise You Lord our Mighty Warrior. Praise you Lord the Glorious One. By His hand we stand in victory. By His name we overcome."
The message Chris gave around the song, his call for us to be a part of worship because we didn't come to a concert but we came to be participants in worship to our God, the message from Bro. Myron about worship....it was all nothing what I expected and everything I needed. Conviction, worship, mercy and love.
I'm excited about what God is doing through The Well, not just in Wednesday night worships, but the upcoming small groups, missions projects and prayer groups. I'm excited about what God is going to do in my heart and I'm looking for how He is going to use me and my family. I know Satan is attacking not just me, but others too and I'm looking to my Mighty Warrior, I'm running to His arms...I know HE WILL STAND IN VICTORY! I want to be a part of that!!!! I want others to be a part of it with us. It is Wednesdays at 6:30, come see what God is doing in the people of Hixson First Baptist.
This is exactly what The Well was designed for. It was designed for people who find themselves in exactly the place you find yourself currently. It was born through burdens of individuals who strive to reach those who are hurting like they themselves have hurt in the past. We have all been there and we will all be there again. We are all put through trials and tribulations for a reason. I see it as a slap in the face to God to not use those trials and tribulations to help someone else though what you have already been through. The sooner we all understand that it's ok to be vulnerable, it's ok to have problems in your life, it's ok to not be ok, the sooner we will see things change in our church and in our own lives. The sooner we are concerned with healing ourselves and those around us, and not be so concerned about those who judge us, the sooner we will truly see God work through us.
ReplyDeleteI am currently throwing around the idea of having people explain what The Well means to them, because everyone's story will be different.....I know mine is. However, I think that people first need to experience all aspects of The Well and how it can be life changing if we allow it to be life changing. It's such an easy concept that we sometimes overlook it. We get so caught up in the rules and regulations that we have place on religion that we forget about the underlying basic concept, and that is love the Lord and love your neighbor, it really is that simple. Sometimes we get hung up on the second part, and that is what The Well is designed to focus on.
Stay strong and I encourage you to find a place within The Well. We are looking for passionate people who don't operate inside a box. We are looking for people who are driven to get results and will own their chosen path because if you are passionate about The Well then you will do what is best for the ministry, not what is best for yourself or anyone else other than God. I encourage you, Rick and the girls to find that passion and get involved.
- Matt