I am 100% sure God knew what He was doing when He put my babies' birthdays so close together(on the calender, they are 5 yrs apart), but I can tell you it can be a bit difficult on this mommies heart. Actually they were both due on the exact same day (Nov 7th) neither made it to that day, and I am thankful they don't share a birthday.Many of you may know our story of how we came to have our 2nd miracle baby, since some of you may not I will share. When Megan was around 2 we decided we wanted to add to our family. Since we got pregnant so quickly after we married we assumed this would be an easy thing.....God had other plans. I had my second miscarriage when Megan was around a year and a half (my first miscarriage was before Megan) in a time when we were not trying to have another baby and it was difficult, but I chose to try to put it out of my mind. We had Megan after all. So when I got pregnant again shortly after we decided we wanted another and began spotting the same day we found out I rushed to the Dr. who told me it was already too late. I was having my 3rd miscarriage. My heart was crushing in all around me. NOT AGAIN!!!! The Dr. scheduled me for a D and C that next evening and I felt numb. I worried that maybe the baby was ok and we should not go through with the procedure. He and others assured me the baby was already gone, but the procedure was necessary. By the time I came out of surgery and recovery they told me with such apology that the only empty beds were in the mother/baby area....REALLY GOD?!?!?! You want me to recover tonight on a floor where all these women are holding their babies and I am mourning the loss of yet another????????? My parents were there waiting for me and as they wheeled me in the room my dad asked me if I was ok and did I need anything? I said NO I was not ok and I needed to go home. The nurse said in order to go home I had to be able to get up on my own and go to bathroom without assistance. I said "bring me some water" I was getting out of there! There was no way I would stay overnight in this environment.
From there my heart was slow to heal and we tried for 2 more years, but there were no more pregnancies. My heart became hard and bitter and angry at God. This would be the time I began to struggle with anxiety. We tried shots and other things to assist the process anything short of In Vitro we tried it. My Dr. (who is amazing by the way) decided to run some tests and figure out what was going on. We learned that I have Anti-cardiolipin antibodies in my blood (it is in the lupus family) which means my blood tends to clot. When I am pregnant I can get blood clots that cause miscarriages. (add that to the low progesterone I also have). Getting pregnant and staying pregnant with this is incredibly difficult and the risks get higher with every pregnancy and every miscarriage. I was in a full out fight with God now. Thankfully, He didn't give up on me. In depression and anxiety I knew I had to do something to change for my husband and for the child God had already gifted me with. I began to diligently search God's Word for verses on Trust and His Faithfulness. I HAD to believe He was trustworthy and He was Faithful. In the last yr of our 2 and 1/2 yrs of trying for another baby and watching other women have babies God proved to me He is exactly who He says He is and He will do exactly what He says He will do. I HAD to come to the place where if He never gave us another baby I would still love Him, and I would still choose to serve Him. It was one of the sweetest places yet most difficult places in my walk with my Jesus I have ever been. The peace He gave me was unimaginable. We, Rick and I, decided it was time to stop the shots and hormone pills and give away all the baby stuff we were hanging on to. A few weeks later WE WERE PREGNANT!!!!!!!
(This was all before the "Facing The Giants" movie, but I assure you tears were streaming for both Rick and I when we saw it because we could have personally written that part of the story) I rushed to the Dr as soon as I saw the positive sign, the ultrasound showed things looked well, but we weren't taking chances we began that nasty progesterone immediately for 12 weeks. Added to that, this time I would be giving myself blood thinner shots in my abdomen 3x a day. Other than being sick the whole time again and the shots the pregnancy went smoothly. Because of my history of a positive strep test and a breaking up placenta my Dr. decided we needed to induce early. On October 27th 2003 we met our second (and final) miracle baby Erika Hope Landess. She was named Erika after Rick and Hope because we had put all of our hope in our Amazing God.
She has been a momma's girl from day 1. She is feisty and hilarious. She tends to be a bit fearful like me and God is teaching me so that I can teach her. She has an amazing passion for her family, she hates arguments she desperately wants her family to get along and love each other. She thinks Megan hung the moon. Her salvation means a lot to her and she wants to do what God wants her to. She keeps us rolling in the floor with laughter wondering where in the world she comes up with these things. She is the gift we thought we would never receive and had learned to accept. I am so crazy glad God chose to intrust her to Rick and I. She is affectionate and compassionate, a peacemaker and the very thing this family needed to complete it. She is proof that God IS forgiving, faithful, and trustworthy.
Daddy and I love you so much baby! Happy 8th Birthday Erika Hope!!!
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